Chicago Cubs Pay Miami Marlins to Take Carlos Zambrano Off their Hands

So the Chicago Cubs have traded Carlos Zambrano to the Miami Marlins, who once again are demanding our attention. We can't wait to see him in his new Rainbow Brite uniform.

In return, the Cubbies will get right-hander Chris Volstad while also forking over $15.45 million of Zambrano's $18 million salary this season. Just let that one sink in for a minute.

First off, were the Cubs seriously hating on Big Z so much that they were willing to part with him and pay the majority of his income? You bet. In fact, the club's spankin' new President of Baseball Operations Theo Epstein cited mistrust and general distaste among his former teammates as one of the main reasons he had to get him out of there.

What a deal for the Marlins.

Second, Chris Volstad is that guy whose name you can never remember but whose face you think you might recognize. Or not. He's average at best, carrying around a career 4.59 ERA in four big league seasons. Originally the Marlins' first-round pick in 2005, he's been up with the club since 2008, compiling a less than desirable 32-39 record along the way. Obviously, he's no Carlos Zambrano, who touts a 3.60 career ERA in 11 seasons on the North Side, with a 125-81 win-loss. Then again, Volstad probably isn't a psychopath either.

After a tumultuous career in which the 30-year-old righty has squabbled with teammates, managers, coaches, and umpires, the last straw coming on August 12. Upon being ejected from a game for being a total ass, he cleaned out his locker and began starting rumors of his retirement. Apparently he was only joking.

Chicago White Sox Trade Carlos Quentin to San Diego Padres

Sometimes when players are traded, they get all upset about where they end up and who they'll miss. In Carlos Quentin's case, he's pretty excited.

The Chicago White Sox traded the All-Star outfielder to his hometown San Diego Padres this weekend, and when he got the call he was conveniently already in town.

This is also good news for the Padres, who sucked it up in the National League West last season. They finished worst in their division at 71-91, 23 games behind his former team, the NL West-winning Arizona Diamondbacks. Padres general manager Josh Byrnes, who traded Quentin from Arizona to Chicago four years ago, is happy to have him back:

"Trading him is pretty high on my list of regrets. That group in Arizona had a lot of talent. Carlos always stood out for his intensity and his style of play. Having a chance to get him back became very appealing here this offseason."

Quentin, who batted .254 with 24 home runs and 77 RBI last season while playing right field for the White Sox, is expected to start out in left for San Diego in 2012. He's also expected to do wonders for the Padres' collective offense, since he's nailed 20 homers in each of the last four seasons, including 36 in 2008.

The White Sox acquired two minor league pitchers in the deal: right-hander Simon Castro and left-hander Pedro Hernandez.

[Associated Press]

Oakland Athletics Trade Andrew Bailey and Ryan Sweeney to Boston... Wait, What?

Has Billy Beane completely lost his mind, or is he using his "money ball" magic to rebuild the Oakland Athletics and improve on their future?

The team traded closer Andrew Bailey and outfielder Ryan Sweeney to the Boston Red Sox on Wednesday for outfielder Josh Reddick (who looks like he's about 12) and two other prospects. This is excellent news for Boston, who was in desperate need of a pitcher to work the ninth inning since the departure of Jonathan Papelbon, who joined to the Philadelphia Phillies for four years, $50 million back in November.

Bailey, the 2009 American League Rookie of the Year, went 0-4 with a 3.24 ERA and 24 saves over 41.2 innings last year. He landed on the disabled list for the second straight season with a strained right forearm and didn't end up making an appearance until May 29, but managed to stay healthy after that.

Sweeney, who will turn 27 this February, hit .265 with 25 RBI and one home run in 108 games for Oakland last season. What an athlete.

In addition to Bailey, the A's have also gotten rid of Trevor Cahill and reliever Craig Breslow, who were traded away to the Arizona Diamondbacks early in December, just eight months after Oakland handed Cahill a five-year, $30.5 million contract. Let's also not forget about lefty Gio Gonzalez, who was sent to the Washington Nationals last Thursday.

Gio Gonzalez Deal Complete, Washington Nationals Looking Better All the Time

The Nationals are not messing around anymore. Finalizing the deal that began as just another rumor back in November, the Oakland Athletics have officially sent Gio Gonzalez to Washington in a six-player trade.

The 26-year-old lefty will join an already promising rotation and pitch between talented young right-handers Jordan Zimmermann and Stephen Strasburg, both of whom recovered from reconstructive elbow surgery and still throw mad heat. Heat like Gonzalez, whose fastball is regularly clocked at 92-95 mph when he's not attempting to perfect his 10-4 curve and changeup.

Gonzalez went 16-12 last season seeing a career high in victories with a 3.12 ERA over 32 starts. He was also selected to his very first All-Star game, so there's that. He'll be a nice addition to a team that has made some major improvements since finishing dead last in the National League East three consecutive seasons from 2008-10. Last year they managed to finish third with an 80-81 record. Maybe they'll win their division some day and make the playoffs!

While the Nationals also received minor league pitcher Robert Gilliam, Oakland landed four players in the deal: catcher Derek Norris, right-handers A.J. Cole and Brad Peacock, and left-hander Tommy Milone.

[Washington Post]

Ian Stewart Heads to Chicago Cubs in Swap with Colorado Rockies

Ian Stewart is leaving the mountains of Colorado for the big city of Chicago after the Rockies traded him to the Cubs Thursday night for outfielder Tyler Colvin and infielder D.J. LeMahieu. The Cubs will also get right-handed reliever Casey Weathers.

Stewart is hoping to bounce back in 2012 after a disappointing season last year in which he batted .156 without a single home run in 122 at bats. Due to a sprained left wrist and being sent down to Triple-A for sucking, he played in only 48 games with the Rockies. He nailed 25 homers in 2009 and 18 more in 2010, so he's completely capable of handling a baseball bat. Cubs general manager Jed Hoyer thinks he'll be just fine:

Los Angeles Dodgers Get Busy, Sign Aaron Harang and Trade Dana Eveland

The Los Angeles Dodgers have filled out their rotation at the winter meetings action in Dallas today, signing Aaron Harang to a two-year contract worth $12 million with a 2014 option.

The 33-year-old right-hander joins a solid rotation that already includes National League Cy Young Award winner Clayton Kershaw, Chad Billingsley, Ted Lilly and Chris Capuano, whose two-year contract of $10 million was signed just last week.

Harang was pretty good last season, going 14-7 with a career-low 3.64 ERA in 28 starts with the San Diego Padres, his hometown team. General manager Ned Colletti is pleased with the signing and says it gives the Dodgers "a veteran arm in the rotation." Funny... I was under the impression Lilly was about as veteran as you can get these days.

The Dodgers also traded lefty Dana Eveland to the Baltimore Orioles in exchange for a couple of minor leaguers: left-hander Jarret Martin and outfielder Tyler Henson.

An 18th round pick with the Orioles in the 2009 draft, Martin was 5-12 with a 4.96 ERA in 31 games with Single-A Delmarva last season, so he sucks, but Henson batted .247 with three home runs and 36 RBI with Triple-A Norfolk in 2011. So there's that.

[MLB]

Smokin' Hot Stove: San Diego Padres Get Huston Street from Colorado Rockies

Huston Street (best porn name in baseball, bow-chicka-wow-wow) was acquired by the San Diego Padres Wednesday for a player to be named from the Colorado Rockies.

Upon the departure of Heath Bell to the talent-hoarding Miami Marlins, the Padres found themselves without someone to shut the door on all those save situations they'll be experiencing next season. Naturally, the first team they turned to was the Rockies, who recently acquired Kevin Slowey from the Minnesota Twins for whatever reason. Clearly, Rafael Betancourt can handle himself in the ninth inning.

So, the two sides agreed that San Diego would take on the remaining chunk of Street's contract, valued at roughly $7.5 million for next season with an extra $9 million club option or a $500,000 buyout for 2013. All of this in exchange for a minor league PTBNL within the next six months, who is always hoped to be of equal value by the receiving team, but rarely is.

The 28-year-old righty went 1-4 with 29 saves and a 3.86 ERA with the Rockies last season.

We've always liked Huston Street. First of all, he's a closer and closers are hot, with a few exceptions. *cough* Matt Capps *cough* Second, he plays guitar. Everyone knows chicks can't control themselves around musicians. Third, we've never once heard him bitch about anything. We hate men who complain. The only thing that's rather fishy is that he claims to be a wine connoisseur.... not sure that we trust men who drink wine.

[Colorado Rockies]

Minnesota Twins Trade Kevin Slowey to Colorado Rockies, Where He'll Suck

For the record, we love Kevin Slowey. Upon meeting him a few times and "interviewing him" -- using that term loosely since we all but groped him -- we will definitely miss his adorable face and unbecoming haircut at Minnesota Twins events next season.

After shopping him pretty much all season long, the club finally traded the right-hander to the Colorado Rockies for some crappy player to be named later at the winter meetings in Dallas this morning.

Texas Trades Taylor Teagarden to Baltimore for a Guy Named Randy

Taylor Teagarden may have one of the most unfortunate names in all of baseball. It's absolutely ridiculous.

Nonetheless, the catcher was traded away by the Texas Rangers on Thursday to the Baltimore Orioles for minor league right-hander Randy Henry (never trust a man with two first names) and a player to be named later.

Teagarden didn't see much action last season, batting .235 in just 14 games for the Rangers. In fact, he hasn't seen much action at all, playing in 118 games over the last four years. You'll have that when a team already has guys like Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Mike Napoli, and Yorvit Torrealba behind the plate.

However, in that short amount of time, Teagarden has thrown out over 30 percent of runners who have dared attempt to steal a base on him. Watch out. The soon-to-be 28-year-old will be a solid backup in the unfortunate case that anything would happen to adorable backstop Matt Wieters.

Meanwhile, the 21-year-old Henry went 4-3 with a 2.22 ERA in 29 relief appearances between the Class A Hickory Crawdads and Myrtle Beach Pelicans... Minor league teams have the best mascots ever.

[Fort Worth Star-Telegram]

Miami Marlins Acquire Wade LeBlanc from Padres for John Baker

The Miami Marlins acquired Wade LeBlanc from the San Diego Padres on Tuesday for catcher John Baker. Why? Well apparently, the Marlins needed a lefty and the Padres could use another catcher. Everybody's happy for now.

LeBlanc went 5-6 with a 4.63 ERA for the Padres last season, sucking for most of 2011 and spending some time with Triple-A Tuscon until winning three of his last four decisions. Obviously, he hopes that convincing finish will still be on the minds of the club when he tries to make the team this spring. Here and there over four seasons with San Diego, LeBlanc went 17-22 with a 4.54 ERA, including two relief appearances.

Ty Wigginton Traded to Phillies; Jim Thome Avoids Imminent Broken Hip

Seriously, if Jim Thome was even considering playing first base for the Philadelphia Phillies until Ryan Howard got better, he had another thing coming. Like hip surgery.

The Colorado Rockies have no use for Ty Wigginton anymore, so they traded him away to the Phillies for some cash or a player to be named later. Not a bad deal for Philly though either, considering all they have to pay the guy is $2 million next season, half of his salary.

Of course, he can't be considered a full-time first baseman either, that would be a disaster. The team is planning on using a platoon of like four guys to play the position, including John Mayberry Jr. and Ben Francisco, and maybe even a little Jim Jam here and there... even though he hasn't worn a glove for like four years.

However, the beauty of Wigginton is that he can play absolutely anywhere all over the infield. He'll be a pretty nice right-handed bat off the bench and a decent replacement for anyone needing a break around the diamond.

The 34-year-old utility player, who is most definitely in the twilight of his career, produced for the Rockies until about mid-season, but finished with a .242 average, 15 homers and 47 RBI. Apparently, that is just not going to get it done in Colorado, so he's been effectively replaced by Jordan Pacheco, who is a decade younger with a better batting average. It will be interesting to see what they end up doing with that extra $2 million this winter, whether it's acquiring another arm for the rotation, or possibly going after Martin Prado to be their everyday second baseman.

[Denver Post]

San Francisco Giants Dump Jonathan Sanchez on Kansas City for Melky Cabrera

The Kansas City Royals changed up their rotation a bit on Monday, trading away outfielder Melky Cabrera to the San Francisco Giants for starting pitcher Jonathan Sanchez. Believe it or not, this guy is an improvement considering the Royals owned the third-worst combined ERA in the American League in 2011.

Not coincidentally, this move makes room on the roster for hyped-up center field prospect Lorenzo Cain. To sweeten the deal, the Giants also threw in Ryan Verdugo... a Double-A pitcher no one has ever heard of.

Ozzie Guillen Has Managed His Last White Sox Game

Update: Ozzie has indeed been released from his contract with the White Sox after going 678-617 over eight seasons at the helm. Pitching coach Don Cooper will manage the team for the final two games of the season. Though negotiations with the Marlins had been in the making since last year, a deal never materialized, so Guillen isn't quite sure where he'll end up at this point. So long Ozzie, the American League Central will miss you!

Ozzie Guillen had a sit-down with board chairman Jerry Reinsdorf prior to his Chicago White Sox game against the Toronto Blue Jays Monday afternoon, perhaps to negotiate a way to stay on the South Side.

However, according to a ton of sources, the Sox and Florida Marlins are about to complete a deal that would send Guillen to Miami, putting an end to his (always exciting) eight-year stay with the club who raised him as a shortstop for 13 seasons before giving him a World Series Championship in 2005 as a second-year manager. As far as the details of the meeting, Guillen had this to say afterward:

Delmon Young Hits Homer in First Tigers At Bat

Former Minnesota Twins left fielder Delmon Young, who was traded to the Detroit Tigers Monday afternoon for a couple minor leaguers, had a pretty nice start to the career with his new team.

Hitting in the no. 3 spot, he jacked a first-inning solo shot off former teammate and friend Francisco Liriano. This, after going yard just four times with the Twins all season.

Jonny Gomes is Sporting a Nationals Jersey

The Cincinnati Reds traded Jonny Gomes away to the Washington Nationals Tuesday in return for two minor leaguers, leaving the door wide open in Cincinnati's outfield for former first-round pick Yonder Alonso.

The struggling left fielder was batting just .211 with 11 home runs and 31 RBI headed into Wednesday night's game against the Florida Marlins. His reaction to the trade:

Michael Young May Be Held Hostage by Rangers

Michael Young has asked the Texas Rangers to trade him. Of course, they are willing to oblige... if it will improve the team.

The Rangers all-time hits leader is not impressed with his changing role, upon last month's signing of free agent third baseman Adrian Beltre. Young is expected to become the club's primary designated hitter, while serving as a utility man all over the infield.

General manager Jon Daniels had this to say about his longest-tenured player's unhappy disposition:

"Nothing is imminent... [Young] has changed his mind, had a change of heart about that role, and if we can accommodate his request, and in doing so upgrade the club, we certainly would like to do that. It certainly hasn’t gotten to a point where we’ve presented Michael with anything because he’s been clear on his feelings about [being traded to teams not on his list.]"

Young is owed $46 million over the remaining three seasons of his contract —- $15 million in each of the next two seasons and $16 million in 2013 -- and he's made it extra difficult as there are just eight teams not on his no-trade list.

Matt Garza to Save the Chicago Cubs

Matt Garza helped the Tampa Bay Rays go from worst to first, why wouldn't he be able to bring the Chicago Cubs their first World Championship since 1908? Clearly, it's a matter of science.

The 27-year-old right-hander was traded to the Cubs this weekend in an eight-player deal that brings outfielder Fernando Perez and lefty Zachary Rosscup along with him. Meanwhile, the Rays get promising righty Chris Archer, shortstop Hak-Ju Lee, catcher Robinson Chirinos, as well as outfielders Sam Fuld and Brandon Guyer.

Smokin' Hot Stove: Adrian Gonzalez

Jayson Werth and Derek Jeter aren't the only guys to become (even more) filthy-stinkin' rich this week.

The Boston Red Sox acquired Adrian Gonzalez over the weekend from the San Diego Padres in a trade for right-hander Casey Kelly, first baseman Anthony Rizzo, outfielder Reymond Fuentes and a player to be named later. The deal was slowed while Theo Epstein attempted to sign Gonzalez to a long-term contract, but the general manager is "very confident" they'll come to terms.

Derrek Lee Rejects Trade to Angels

After considering for a moment whether he'd like to be traded to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Derrek Lee politely declined.

It was very tempting, I didn't just say no right away... For me and my family, the best thing to do is to stay here.

The Chicago Cubs first baseman used his veteran power to block the trade, having been in the league for ten seasons and with the same club for five.

Braves and Blue Jays Switch Shortstops

In an effort to bolster their lineup midseason, the Atlanta Braves have swapped shortstops with the Toronto Blue Jays.

The Braves also gave the Blue Jays left-hander Jo-Jo Reyes in the five-player deal, adding lefty minor leaguer Tim Collins and minor league shortstop Tyler Pastornicky.