We'll Miss You Chipper Jones

It's been a long and wonderful road Larry Wayne, and we'll be sorry to see you go.

The news announced via the Atlanta Braves Twitter account Thursday morning made us a little sad even though we've seen it coming since at least 2010: Chipper Jones is retiring following this season. He held an emotional press conference later on in the day, which every single one of his teammates attended.

The future Hall of Fame third baseman, who has spent his entire career with the Braves, has nothing to be ashamed of. Besides maybe that fling with the Hooters waitress. We all make mistakes. Otherwise, he owns a career .304 batting average with 454 home runs, the 1999 National League MVP Award, two Silver Sluggers, seven All-Star selections, and a World Series ring from 1995. He earned the NL batting title in 2008, a year in which he also owned the highest on-base percentage in baseball at .470. Not bad.

However, injuries have piled up over the past eight years, as the soon-to-be 40-year-old hasn't missed fewer than 25 games in a season since 2004. In fact, he was contemplating retirement in 2009 when he said, "If I back up this year with the same kind of year next year, I don’t want to play the game. The game is not fun to me when I’m not playing up to my standards."

Also, he expressed interest in wanting to experience being a full-time dad before it's too late. The man has priorities.

Anyway, don't be too upset Braves fans. I'm sure as one of the best switch-hitting third baseman of all time, he will be offered a position with the team after he hangs it up so you'll see his adorable face at the ballpark likely until he kicks the bucket. He'll be like the Tommy Lasorda of Atlanta... or the Don Zimmer of Atlanta. You get the drift.

/single tear

[Atlanta Braves]

Season Previews: Atlanta Braves

With Spring Training well underway, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Kicking off our preview of the National League East, here is a sneak peak at the 2012 Atlanta Braves.

Chipper Jones is fat?
Better take it back Deadspin!
That is my boyfriend

Heyward in right field
Martin Prado out in left
Eric Hinske too

Freeman at first base
Dan Uggla up the middle
With Pastornicky

McCann's still around
David Ross will back him up
Turning 35

Tommy is awesome
Tim Hudson, Jair Jurrjens
Are pretty good too

Holy Crap, Wild Card Wednesday Was Nuts

What a finish to baseball's regular season, the greatest show on dirt. That was literally the most exciting night of baseball we have ever witnessed in our entire lives. Sincerely hope you got to see at least one of these games.

The Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox polished off their respective collapses while the Tampa Bay Rays made the most improbable comeback of their young franchise's history. Also, Chris Carpenter and the St. Louis Cardinals plowed through the Houston Astros like they had the worst record in baseball... oh, wait.

Guys like Nolan Reimold and Robert Andino, who forced Jonathan Papelbon's soon-to-be infamous blown save, are maybe the last two names you'd expect to hear today. Maybe, if you're living outside of Baltimore, you have no clue who the hell they are. They're spoilers. Season-enders. Game-changers for a day.

Many Red Sox fans, already disappointed with Carl Crawford's once-promising season in Beantown, may want to kick him in the nuts today after his disgraceful, missed catch on Andino's low liner to end the game. Pure laziness. David Ortiz summed it all up in his post-game interview:

"Umm....this is... this might be the worst situation that I have ever been involved in, in my whole career."

Then there's Evan Longoria, who enjoyed a two-home run evening -- one being quite possibly the biggest walkoff bomb of his career -- at Tropicana Field as his Rays rallied from a 7-0 deficit in the eighth inning. And Dan Johnson. Batting .183 on the year and the last guy you want at the plate when your team is down to their last strike of the season in the bottom of ninth, goes yard to tie it up and give Tampa a shot at October.

Fear Not Braves Fans, Chipper Jones to Return in 2012

In case you were in panic mode that Chipper Jones might change his mind about finishing out the three-year, $42 million contract extension he signed back in 2009, you can calm the hell down.

The long-time Atlanta Braves third baseman reiterated his intention to stick it out through the 2012 season Wednesday night after his team polished off their epic collapse to lose the National League Wild Card bid.

Upon a more-than-disappointing 2010 season in which he hinted at retirement while limited to just 95 games due to injury, the 39-year-old Jones bounced back in 2011. Although he was hurt more this year, he was named to the NL All-Star team for the seventh time in his 18-year career and finished the season batting .275 with 18 homers and 70 RBI over 126 games.

Jones, set to make $13 million next season with a $7 million team option for 2013, had these words of wisdom to close out the 2011 season:

Braves Drop into Tie with Cardinals for NL Wild Card

“It's like living out a bad dream... You never expect this to happen to you."
-- Chipper Jones

The Atlanta Braves are in the middle of an absolute free fall. In fact, they're all but giving the National League Wild Card to the St. Louis Cardinals.

Derek Lowe struggled once again, surrendering five runs on five hits and exiting in the fifth inning to a chorus of boos from the home crowd at Turner Field during his team's 7-1 loss to the NL East-champion Philadelphia Phillies. Atlanta has now lost four straight and eight of 11, squandering the 8 1/2-game lead they enjoyed just three weeks ago.

Chase Utley, Hunter Pence, and Jimmy Rollins each went yard as the Phillies totally screwed up the Braves plans. They never even had a shot against Roy Oswalt, who gave up only three hits over six solid innings. Atlanta will send Tim Hudson to the mound Wednesday against Joe Blanton in an attempt to wrap up the Wild Card if they emerge victorious and the Cardinals manage to drop their final game of the season.

After rallying from a 5-0 deficit to crush the last-place Houston Astros 13-6, the Cardinals pulled even with the Braves, who had sole possession of the Wild Card lead since June 20. All good things must come to an end I suppose.

Phillies Beat Braves for Win No. 100, Cardinals Lose

The Atlanta Braves were enjoying an early two-tun lead against Cliff Lee Monday night, but the postseason-bound Philadelphia Phillies did what they do best, rallying for their 100th victory of the season with a 4-2 win.

Meanwhile, the Cardinals managed to lose to the last-place Houston Astros 5-4 on a crazy squeeze bunt in the 10th inning, leaving Atlanta's Wild-Card lead at one game over St. Louis. The Braves are on quite the skid at this point, dropping their third straight and seventh of their last 10 for a 9-16 September record with just two games left in the regular season.

This marks the third time in franchise history that the Phillies have earned 100 victories, so that's pretty neat for them. Derek Lowe, who has struggled recently, will pitch for the Braves Tuesday evening against Roy Oswalt while Jake Westbrook (12-9, 4.48 ERA) takes the hill for the Cards against rookie right-hander Henry Sosa, who has never faced St. Louis in real life. Good luck buddy!

[MLB]

Cardinals Pull Within One Game of Braves for Wild Card

Exactly a month ago, the St. Louis Cardinals were staring down an autumn without a postseason. Now, in the last week of the season, they have pulled within one game of the Atlanta Braves for the National League Wild Card with just three games to play after Sunday's 3-2 win over those good old fashioned Spoilers, the Chicago Cubs.

Skipper Tony La Russa and the entire team decided to don Hawaiian t-shirts before the game in a showing of unity... I'm not sure I get that, but I guess it's kind of like the Tampa Bay Rays sporting their Rayhawks back in 2008. Whatever happened to old school superstisions like not washing your jock strap or eating turkey sandwiches before every game?

Dan Uggla Looking for Hit No. 32 on the Streak

After collecting a hit in 31 consecutive games, Dan Uggla is tied for the 25th longest hitting streak in baseball history.

A big deal? Yes, considering this is something only 34 other players have ever done.

He officially has the longest streak in the majors this season after surpassing Andre Ethier's 30-game marathon with a first-inning single as the Braves polished off their sweep of the Marlins on Wednesday.

With an off day Thursday, Uggla will get a shot at no 32. when the Braves take on Carlos Zambrano and the Chicago Cubs at 7:37pm ET Friday night. The right-handed hitter is 1-for-9 lifetime against Big Z with four walks and five strikeouts.

Whether he breaks Joe DiMaggio's elusive record of reaching base safely in 56 straight games or not, 31 is still a pretty big number. It's an impressive number. More impressive still when you look at his .173 batting average when the streak began. Before setting his sights on Joltin' Joe, Uggla will have to surpass the longest hitting streak in Braves history: Tommy Holmes at 37 games. Anything is possible.

[Atlanta Journal Constitution]

Dan Uggla Tries to Keep the Streak Alive

Dan Uggla is on fire.

The Atlanta Braves' second baseman delivered an infield single off Clay Hensley in the fifth inning of his team's 4-3, extra-inning victory over the Florida Marlins Tuesday night, advancing his hitting streak to 30 games.

Uggla finished 1-for-6 against his former club and is batting .220 on the season with 24 home runs and 56 RBI. He was batting .173 when the streak began, which marks the lowest average for any hitter with more than 10 at-bats at the start of a 30-game streak since at least 1918. So.... he sucks but he doesn't.

Welcome Back, Chipper Jones (False Alarm)

Chipper Jones is the kinda guy where you either love him or hate him. Since we more than love him, his coming off the disabled list is excellent news. You're just going to have to bear with us through this short welcome back post.

The Atlanta Braves third baseman returned from his 15-day trip after convincing (and perhaps lying to) the Braves organization, saying that he no longer feels that nagging "discomfort" in his right knee that more or less comes with pushing 40.

Watch Out Pirates, Here Comes Hunter Pence

The Houston Astros suck a lot right now, but Hunter Pence is on fire.

The 28-year-old outfielder extended his hitting streak to 23 games after going 3-for-4 with 4 RBI in his team's 8-3 win over the Atlanta Braves on Monday.

Pence, who missed his first game of the season on Sunday with tightness in his back, went yard off Derek Lowe in the third inning for his ninth homer of the year and drove in two more with a base hit in Houston's five-run sixth.

His hit streak is the longest in the big leagues currently, while batting .325 with 50 RBI on the season. He's now tied up with Art Howe, Moises Alou and Luis Gonzalez for the fourth-longest streak in franchise history. Good company. If he wants to be the best, he'll need to hit in eight more games consecutively to beat Willy Taveras' 30-game hitting streak from back in 2006.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Tommy Hanson

Tommy Hanson is an animal.

The Atlanta Braves righty struck out a career-high 14 Houston Astros Sunday afternoon in his team's 4-1 win at Minute Maid Park. Hanson surrendered just one run on three hits, improving to 3-0 with a ridiculous 0.97 ERA in five career starts against the Astros. Pretty awesome.

Dan Uggla hit a two-run shot in the first inning off Brett Myers and Brian McCann went yard for another two runs in the sixth to give their starter all the run support he needed for the Braves sixth straight victory.

Hanson -- now 7-4 with a 2.59 ERA -- fanned five in a row early in the game before striking out last three batters he faced. Exclamation point! His 14 K's were the most by a Braves pitcher since the legendary John Smoltz had 15 back in 2005 against the New York Mets. He's now tied with Bud Norris for the most strikeouts ever in a game at Minute Maid Park.

Oh, and Tommy, lose the beard. You look 20 years older than you are, and chicks do not dig that. Besides, how many guys do you know that go by "Tommy" who have face muff? You're not Brian Wilson, man.

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Rivalries and Sweet, Sweet Redemption

Most of you may remember our Ballpark Photo Contest we held back in January, where we asked you to send in your pictures to be voted upon by readers. The winner of that glorious contest was a sassy young lady holding a pork-chop-on-a-stick at Target Field, but one of the runners up was the poor guy on the left, Atlanta Braves fan Mateo Walter and his friend David Gregory (the Los Angeles Angels fan on the right).

The two guys have an ongoing bet: during Interleague play, when one of their favorite teams inevitably loses, they have to don the winner's jersey. It's an embarrassing disaster and we absolutely love it.

Wear Your Favorite MLB Team on Your Booty

Victoria's Secret has released a new line of MLB apparel, but it might not include your favorite team.

Are you a Pirates, Blue Jays, Marlins, Braves, Reds, or Astros fan? Too bad. You don't get to wear sexy baseball panties... which is super lame.

I happen to know all kinds of hot ladies who are fans of the aforementioned teams. In fact, they love them so much they blog about them:

Braves Love

Hands of My Pirates Booty

Red Hot Mama

Astros-holic Synonymous

Aly Hearts Baseball

I'm disappointed, Vickie's... not that I'm boycotting. I don't think I could handle that.

Speaking of ladies, check out this young woman's journey from being "just another pink hat" to a well-educated female baseball fan. Just the way we like them.

[Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies]

Sad News for Minor League Manager Luis Salazar

I've tried to imagine today what it would be like to actually lose an eye. I would likely lose my mind.

This is why I have a tremendous amount of admiration for the bravery of Luis Salazar, the Atlanta Braves minor league manager who was nailed in the face by a line drive during a Spring Training game on March 9. He ended up losing his left eye.

Salazr, 54, was leaning against the railing on the top step of the dugout during a game between the Braves and the St. Louis Cardinals when Brian McCann fouled one in his direction. Salazar was unable to get out of the way, falling head-first back into the dugout.

Season Previews: Atlanta Braves

With Spring Training already underway, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing with our preview of the National League East, here are the Atlanta Braves.

So long Bobby Cox
Welcome Fredi Gonzalez
To a new era

Chipper refuses
To give up his spot at third
Good luck Brooks Conrad

Hinske will back up
Freddie Freeman at first base
That's a lot of F's

Uggla at second
Newly paired with Gonzalez
Two former Marlins

McCann at the plate
A great fantasy player
Like Jason Heyward

He's out in right field
With Nate McLouth in center
And Prado in left

We Thought Garret Anderson Retired Already

After 17 seasons in the game, Garret Anderson is hanging up his glove. Funny, we totally thought he retired already.

The 38-year-old left fielder broke into the majors back in 1994 and ended up compiling more than 2,500 hits, 287 home runs, and a career batting average of .293. He also enjoyed a World Series title with the Los Angeles Angels in 2002 and three All-Star selections.

Anderson spent his first 15 big league seasons with the Halos before joining the Atlanta Braves in 2009 and the cross-town Dodgers last season, in which he batted .181 with two homers and 12 RBI in 80 games.

Yep... it was time to call it quits. The old schooler had this to say Tuesday in a team press release:

"It is with mixed emotions that I have decided to retire from baseball. It was truly a privilege to play this wonderful game and for that I want to thank several individuals."

Happy trails, Gary.

[Big League Stew]

Dan Uggla Gets Five-Year Deal from Braves

We're not sure, maybe you can help us. Is it possible for Dan Uggla's neck to get any more ridiculously ginormous? Was his head photoshopped onto that picture?

The Atlanta Braves have signed Uggla to a five-year contract extension worth $62 million, keeping him up the middle until 2015 to avoid arbitration.

Dodgers, Angels and Braves Tie Up Loose Ends

The Los Angeles Dodgers have given Tony Gwynn, Jr. a one-year deal worth $675,000.

The 28-year-old outfielder, who played for the San Diego Padres last season, became a free agent when his Hall of Fame father's former team failed to offer him a 2011 contract.

He's not all bad, though. Gwynn, a career .276 pinch hitter, swiped a career-high 17 bases in 21 attempts over 117 games with the Padres last year.

There's Always Next Year, Braves Fans

Well that series was definitely torture -- if your idea of "torture" is four incredible baseball games.

The San Francisco Giants are one (really difficult) series closer to fans being able to scream THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! THE GIANTS WIN THE PENNANT! But first they must face the hardcore Philadelphia Phillies. While they wait, they'll belt out their catchy rendition of Don't Stop Believing.