Octavio Dotel Refuses to Retire, Signs with Detroit Tigers

Reigning World Series champion Octavio Dotel has signed with the Detroit Tigers in an effort to put one more big league club on his career resume.

On the final day of the winter meetings in Dallas on Thursday, the right-handed reliever and his agent convinced the Tigers he would be of use to them before he retires. Whenever that will be.

The 38-year-old Dominican, whose $3.5 million option for 2012 was declined by the St. Louis Cardinals, will give the bullpen some depth for at least the one year he was signed for to the tune of $3.5 million. Of course, he must pass a physical first.

I'm sure he has nothing to worry about.

Dotel has enjoyed 13 seasons in the majors with 12 different teams; in 2010 he was shuffled between three teams, which is unheard of. When he takes the mound in a Tigers uniform, he will become the first player in the history of the game to play for 13 clubs. That's quite an accomplishment.

[Detroit Free Press]

Ian Stewart Heads to Chicago Cubs in Swap with Colorado Rockies

Ian Stewart is leaving the mountains of Colorado for the big city of Chicago after the Rockies traded him to the Cubs Thursday night for outfielder Tyler Colvin and infielder D.J. LeMahieu. The Cubs will also get right-handed reliever Casey Weathers.

Stewart is hoping to bounce back in 2012 after a disappointing season last year in which he batted .156 without a single home run in 122 at bats. Due to a sprained left wrist and being sent down to Triple-A for sucking, he played in only 48 games with the Rockies. He nailed 25 homers in 2009 and 18 more in 2010, so he's completely capable of handling a baseball bat. Cubs general manager Jed Hoyer thinks he'll be just fine:

Watch Out Everyone, the Prince Fielder Sweepstakes Have Officially Begun

Poor Prince Fielder. After all of the hooting and hollering over Albert Pujols, Jose Reyes, and C.J. Wilson, we almost forgot about our chubby free agent first baseman. Let's turn our attention to him for a little bit.

The former Milwaukee Brewers slugger and his agent Scott Boras are open for negotiations now that all the other big fish have been reeled in. However, they seem to be searching for a suitor who's willing to spend $200 million over seven or eight years, which is going to be tough to find since most teams out there won't be into the idea of give Fielder more than a five year contract, even though he's apparently only 27.

It's speculated that either the Miami Marlins or St. Louis Cardinals could afford to sign him, considering the ridiculous contracts both teams offered Pujols. However, the Texas Rangers might want his services to help with the imminent battle against their division rival Angels, who are about to dominate the hell out of the American League West. Count on it.

Los Angeles Dodgers Get Busy, Sign Aaron Harang and Trade Dana Eveland

The Los Angeles Dodgers have filled out their rotation at the winter meetings action in Dallas today, signing Aaron Harang to a two-year contract worth $12 million with a 2014 option.

The 33-year-old right-hander joins a solid rotation that already includes National League Cy Young Award winner Clayton Kershaw, Chad Billingsley, Ted Lilly and Chris Capuano, whose two-year contract of $10 million was signed just last week.

Harang was pretty good last season, going 14-7 with a career-low 3.64 ERA in 28 starts with the San Diego Padres, his hometown team. General manager Ned Colletti is pleased with the signing and says it gives the Dodgers "a veteran arm in the rotation." Funny... I was under the impression Lilly was about as veteran as you can get these days.

The Dodgers also traded lefty Dana Eveland to the Baltimore Orioles in exchange for a couple of minor leaguers: left-hander Jarret Martin and outfielder Tyler Henson.

An 18th round pick with the Orioles in the 2009 draft, Martin was 5-12 with a 4.96 ERA in 31 games with Single-A Delmarva last season, so he sucks, but Henson batted .247 with three home runs and 36 RBI with Triple-A Norfolk in 2011. So there's that.

[MLB]

Los Angeles Angels Sign C.J. Wilson for Five Years, Steal Winter Meetings Thunder

The Los Angeles Angels have had a pretty good day. In fact, they just stole the stage from the talent-hoarding Miami Marlins.

After snatching up Albert Pujols in one of the gaudiest bidding wars in the history of baseball, the Angels also snagged top free agent pitcher C.J. Wilson Thursday morning at the winter meetings in Dallas.

The left-hander will earn $77.5 million over the next five seasons in Anaheim, joining what has now become the most ridiculous rotation in the American League with Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and Ervin Santana. Holy crap that's a lot of aces. Hopefully Wilson can figure out how to pitch in the postseason.

Albert Pujols Finally Makes up His Mind, Signs with Los Angeles Angels

Honestly, we love Albert Pujols and think he's great and everything, but we have to admit we were getting pretty sick of hearing his name and only his name above all else so far during the winter meetings. And pretty much all offseason. And during the end of the regular season when perhaps he was "playing his last game in a Cardinals uniform" every game for a straight month. Pretty sure Tim McCarver uttered that phrase at least 16 times during the World Series. That's why he's a legend, people.

The Los Angeles Angels swooped in and managed to sign Pujols Thursday morning to the tune of $254 million over ten seasons, which is absolutely ridiculous, but we all knew it would be no matter where he signed.

The Miami Marlins Are at it Again, Sign Mark Buehrle to Four-Year Deal

This is getting out of control really quick. Seriously, who the hell do the Miami Marlins think they are? And where THE HELL are they getting all this money? Man they're being aggressive.

Since signing free agent Mark Buehrle Wednesday afternoon to a four-year, $58 million deal, the team has now spent a total of $191 million on Heath Bell, Jose Reyes and now the long time Chicago White Sox ace. What is happening? If they go out and get C.J. Wilson (who might head to the Los Angeles Angels anyway but you never know) I am literally going to go into shock.

One snippet of news to bring them back down to reality with the rest of baseball: rumor has it the Marlins have moved on from pursuing Albert Pujols, who might just end up sticking around St. Louis after all of this nonsense. Of course, this probably just means they'll go after Prince Fielder. We'll keep you posted.

Buehrle went 13-9 with a 3.59 ERA last season in his 12th year with the White Sox, the only team he's ever known. He's going to be a nice addition to the already amazing starting rotation in Miami, including Josh Johnson, Anibal Sanchez and Ricky Nolasco. Not bad.

Speaking of the White Sox, they piped up Tuesday night and made a trade for closer Sergio Santos, sending reliever Nester Molina to the Toronto Blue Jays, in case that interests you.

[Sportsology]

Jose Reyes Looks Almost as Uncomfortable as We Are With the Marlins New Uniforms

The bewildered expression on his face almost reveals the fact that he can't wait until 2018 when he can finally take that god-awful thing off of his body. Make it stop, Miami.

[Sun-Sentinel]

Smokin' Hot Stove: San Diego Padres Get Huston Street from Colorado Rockies

Huston Street (best porn name in baseball, bow-chicka-wow-wow) was acquired by the San Diego Padres Wednesday for a player to be named from the Colorado Rockies.

Upon the departure of Heath Bell to the talent-hoarding Miami Marlins, the Padres found themselves without someone to shut the door on all those save situations they'll be experiencing next season. Naturally, the first team they turned to was the Rockies, who recently acquired Kevin Slowey from the Minnesota Twins for whatever reason. Clearly, Rafael Betancourt can handle himself in the ninth inning.

So, the two sides agreed that San Diego would take on the remaining chunk of Street's contract, valued at roughly $7.5 million for next season with an extra $9 million club option or a $500,000 buyout for 2013. All of this in exchange for a minor league PTBNL within the next six months, who is always hoped to be of equal value by the receiving team, but rarely is.

The 28-year-old righty went 1-4 with 29 saves and a 3.86 ERA with the Rockies last season.

We've always liked Huston Street. First of all, he's a closer and closers are hot, with a few exceptions. *cough* Matt Capps *cough* Second, he plays guitar. Everyone knows chicks can't control themselves around musicians. Third, we've never once heard him bitch about anything. We hate men who complain. The only thing that's rather fishy is that he claims to be a wine connoisseur.... not sure that we trust men who drink wine.

[Colorado Rockies]

The New York Mets Have Been Busy, Make Trade with San Francisco Giants

In less than two hours on Tuesday at the winter meetings, the New York Mets made some serious moves. First, they signed free agent relievers Jon Rauch and Frank Francisco to somehow beef up their bullpen and add some much-needed depth to their situation. Then, they shipped center fielder Angel Pagan to the San Francisco Giants for outfielder Andres Torres and right-hander Ramon Ramirez. Busy, busy.

Manager Terry Collins is awfully proud of their work:

New York Mets Believe Jon Rauch Will Make a Great Reliever, Hand Him $3.5 Million

When there are players demanding upwards of $200 million for a decade of service, it's hard to take tiny deals like the one the New York Mets just made with Jon Rauch seriously. In fact, it's hard to take the Mets seriously at all.

In a move meant to "bolster" their bullpen Tuesday evening, the team signed Rauch to a $3.5 million, one-year deal. This is the Mets' first move of the winter meetings, and for their sake, it's hopefully not their last. Nothing against the 6'-11" pitcher other than the fact that he's absolutely terrible and looks exactly like a crackhead.

The 33-year-old right-hander, who began last season as the Toronto Blue Jays closer, posted a 4.85 ERA in 53 relief appearances with five blown saves in 16 opportunities.

Ageless Albert Pujols Commands Serious Dollar Signs to Leave St. Louis Cardinals

Albert Pujols and his douchey agent (we pretty much take everything bad we've ever said about Scott Boras back) have some mighty lucrative offers to consider this week: one from the big-spending Marlins, another meaning he won't need to pack a thing, and a third 10-year offer from a team which has refused to go public. Hopefully it's the Cubs.

Update: Never mind, it's just the Los Angeles Angels.

Miami reportedly met with the nine-time All-Star and agent Dan Lozano to offer a 10-year deal Monday night, upping their previous offer which was apparently less than the nine-year, $198 million the St. Louis Cardinals tossed up last spring. If he actually is the age he says he is, that would make him a 41-year-old first baseman in the National League at the end of his contract. Unless he really is a robot... either way we'll be forced to use the Old People tag on him. Of course, he'll have a shot at being a designated hitter when baseball does their whole expansion dance during Interleague contests, which will eventually occur throughout the entire season.

Minnesota Twins Trade Kevin Slowey to Colorado Rockies, Where He'll Suck

For the record, we love Kevin Slowey. Upon meeting him a few times and "interviewing him" -- using that term loosely since we all but groped him -- we will definitely miss his adorable face and unbecoming haircut at Minnesota Twins events next season.

After shopping him pretty much all season long, the club finally traded the right-hander to the Colorado Rockies for some crappy player to be named later at the winter meetings in Dallas this morning.

Minnesota Twins Give Matt Capps One-Year Deal, We LOL

Well, it's not so much that we laughed out loud... it was more like a disgusted groan. Out loud. Then we chuckled at the absolute stupidity of the deal, and our rash belief that Terry Ryan was going to do anything to point the Minnesota Twins in the opposite direction of bad decisions.

Those feelings were the aftermath of the news that the club has re-signed that fat, save-blowing sucktard Matt Capps to a one-year deal for $4.75 million. DOLLARS. Apparently they were feeling generous and even threw in a club option for 2013.

We understand Joe Nathan's are some big shoes to fill. At least they used to be. But Capps? MATT CAPPS? Haven't we been through this already? Guess not. Ryan has been quoted as saying he thinks "Capps will bounce back," which we agree with. That's what chubsters do: they bounce.

Also, Capps is not familiar with striking people out: he fanned just 34 batters in 65.2 innings last season on top of his unacceptable 4.25 ERA.

/face palm

[Hardball Talk]

Cliff Lee Must Be Wooed

Ever heard the expression, "Never bring a knife to a gun fight?"

That may be what Texas Rangers owner Chuck Greenburg is doing with his team's "multiple substantial" offers to Cliff Lee in an attempt to keep him in Arlington. At one point, they asked him what it would take for him to stay. Unfortunately, Clifton Lee must be wooed.

So Greenburg, along with assistant general manager Thad Levine and co-chairman Ray Davis, met with Lee, the pitcher’s wife and his agent, Darek Braunecker, at Braunecker’s office Thursday night. While Greenburg refused to divulge the details, he called his team "highly competitive." But are they competitive enough?

Smokin' Hot Stove: Twins and Orioles

Hot Stove time! The Minnesota Twins have traded shortsop J.J. Hardy and utility infielder Brendon Harris to the Baltimore Orioles for right-handed relievers James Hoey and Brett Jacobson.

This seems like a decent deal for all parties involved, except for female Twins fans who fell madly in lust with Hardy's sparkly baby blue eyes last season.

Boston Red Sox Dish $142 Million for Carl Crawford

Carl Crawford has officially signed the richest contract of any outfielder in the history of the game.

The All-Star left fielder and the Boston Red Sox reached a preliminary agreement late Wednesday night on a $142 million, seven-year contract, which is subject to a physical, of course. The average annual value of the deal -- $20,285,714 -- is the seventh highest among current players and 10th-largest in baseball history.

Winter Meetings Wish List

Happy Hot Stove everyone!

Clearly, my only wish is for Joe Mauer to realize he's madly in love with me and propose, so I don't need to resort to getting on one knee with a Rolex. As far as the Winter Meetings go, we're unbiased. We love the rumors, the trades, the drama, etc.

Anyways... We've compiled a Wish List for this season's Winter Meetings consisting of our Twitter followers, Facebook friends, and a few baseball bloggers' hopes and dreams for their respective MLB teams. See if you can spot a pattern... Enjoy!

First, some tweets from our baseball-loving pals on Twitter...

@DannyPace: "My wishlist is for the Braves to unload Kawakami. I'd also like to get rid of Mclouth but don't think it'll happen."

@JessicaLovesCrew: "PITCHING! Ol' Dougie is already on it."

(Editor's note: Jessica loves baseball, beer and having fun. A girl after our own hearts.)

@TwinkieTown: "An iPad!!!! I hear there's an app that lets Jason Kubel hit left-handed pitching."

As If Derek Jeter Could Ever Leave the Bronx

It was inevitable. After all of the back and forth negotiations between Derek Jeter, his agent Casey Close, and the New York Yankees brass, we just knew this would end with the shortstop in pinstripes, earning a decent living.

Maybe dressing up as elves and dancing the jig helped move things along a little.

I Got Snowed In

It's been a crazy winter since the World Series ended, and with the hot stove burning, I've decided to come home from vacation and reunite with my one true love. America's Pastime.

One of the latest stories loosely-related to our favorite game involves Lizzy's #1 atop the list of people who she'd like to knock the fuck out: Roger Clemens.

So, what's new with The Rocket? His name is apparently being removed from the Sports Medicine portion of the Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston, TX, effective January 1st... in order to "better reflect its commitment to all sports and athletes." You know, not just the cheaters.

Blah Blah Steroids.

So much has changed, yet so little. Good to be back for a bit, and long live baseball. Even though some if not most of its franchises stand for all that is wrong with humanity, there are the few and the proud who still believe. On that note, have a safe and happy New Year, see you in 2009.

[Houston Press] | [The Fanhouse] | [Deadspin]