Testosterone Medication Allegedly to Blame for Ryan Braun's Failed Drug Test

We've been waiting a while to weigh in on the whole Ryan Braun deal lately, mostly because we couldn't find a credible source with any real information to cite. Now that a few semi-major news outlets have suggested the Milwaukee Brewers left fielder may have been prescribed a medication containing testosterone which made him fail one random test and then pass the second, we're gonna throw in our two or three cents.

Not that it's any of our business, but I'm sure you're wondering just like us, what possible secret ailments could Braun have that require synthetic testosterone for treatment?

The obvious conclusion for some asinine sports blogs out there is that he has herpes. Of course. First of all, page views and hits will never be so important to us that we would create a rumor that a player has a sexually transmitted disease in the hopes people will visit our site and spread the rumor... kind of like herpes. That would be stupid and irresponsible... kind of like having unprotected sex.

There are many illnesses and issues in which testosterone is used as a treatment and/or cure. Since we're too lazy to speculate, we'll just sit back and wait to see if Braun decides to share the news with the public after his appeal, if this is indeed the case. Either way, he'll most likely be suspended for 50 games to start off the 2012 season; it's still his responsibility to know exactly what he's putting into his body and to make sure it's within MLB regulations.

Herpes. How dumb.

[Big League Stew]

Barry Bonds Gets a Slap on the Wrist, Manages to Avoid Jail Time

The Barry Bonds fiasco is finally over... at least for now.

Upon his conviction for giving "misleading testimony" (a.k.a. lying his ass off) before a grand jury investigating steroid use in sports, the Home Run King was sentenced to 30 days of house arrest, two years probation, a $4,000 fine, and 250 hours of community service on Friday. The federal judge cited his many charitable donations as part of the reason actual jail time seemed irrational.

Ryan Braun Faces 50-Game Ban for Allegedly Cheating; We Might Take it All Back

We haven't been more disappointed in a ballplayer than we are with Ryan Braun tonight. Honestly, he was one of the last players we'd ever suspect of cheating.

The Milwaukee Brewers left fielder has tested positive for a banned substance and now faces a 50-game suspension. Of course he is disputing the results and referring to them as complete "bullshit." A spokesperson for Braun released this statement Saturday evening:

"There are highly unusual circumstances surrounding this case which will support Ryan's complete innocence and demonstrate there was absolutely no intentional violation of the program. While Ryan has impeccable character and no previous history, unfortunately, because of the process we have to maintain confidentiality and are not able to discuss it any further, but we are confident he will ultimately be exonerated."

On the heels of his first 30-30 season, a synthetic testosterone was found in his system in a recent random test. A second administered test was negative, so we're awfully confused by that. If the suspension is upheld, the Brewers are totally screwed early on in the season. Especially after losing the big bat of Prince Fielder to free agency.

Over his first five big league seasons, the reigning National League MVP has averaged 36 longballs, 118 RBI and a .563 slugging percentage. If he is indeed a cheater-pants, we take back everything nice we've ever said about him. If the positive test is just a bunch of BS, then we apologize for finding the douchiest picture possible of him to go with this post.

[Daily Pitch]

Manny Seeks Reinstatement After Ban from Winter Ball

Manny Ramirez will not be allowed to play winter ball over in the Dominican Republic this offseason.

The reason? Mr. Cheaterpants never did serve a suspension, nor did he contest his positive drug test earlier this year. And with Major League Baseball's agreement with the Dominican League, they have all the power to stop him.

This according to a person speaking anonymously since the news hasn't been announced publicly: The Cibao Eagles, a Dominican winter league team Ramirez played with in 1993-94, claimed this week he was expected to start training with the club soon. However, MLB and the Players Association have decided he's ineligible.

Blah Blah Steroids: Mike Jacobs

Mike Jacobs is not the sharpest tackle in the box.

The minor league first baseman, who may have just screwed up his chance at ever returning to the big leagues, is the first player suspended by Major League Baseball for a positive HGH test under its minor league drug testing program. What a moron.

The 30-year-old Jacobs played in the majors from 2005-10, collecting 100 homers and 310 RBI with a career .254 batting average between the New York Mets, Florida Marlins and Kansas City Royals. He received a 50-game suspension Thursday for choosing to take the banned performance-enhancing drug rather than heal naturally, and was subsequently released by the Colorado Rockies. His excuse? He needed to overcome knee and back problems.

Manny Ramirez: Happy Trails, Dumbass

We've known for years that Tampa Bay's designated hitter Manny Ramirez was his own special brand of stupid. Former teammates have likened him to cancer. He's made some ridiculously stupid comments. Love him or hate him, it's still big news that our favorite butterfly chasing dumbass retired today after 19 seasons.

Manny missed Thursday's game with what was called a "family issue". He was expected to return to the lineup on Friday, but the issue turned out to be what the commissioner's office called "an issue under Major League Baseball’s Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program". Oops.

Manny apparently failed a drug test by testing positive for a banned substance during spring training. He didn't bother to appeal the positive test. Rather than face a suspension of 100 games, Ramirez decided instead to hang it up for good. Should he decide in the future to rejoin the Rays (or whatever team would actually put up with him), he would still be required to face disciplinary action for the failed test. I'm willing to bet that Roy Oswalt's neck is wishing Manny had made this decision a few weeks ago.

Roger Clemens Does Not Understand Term "Gag Order"

A federal judge warned Roger Clemens on Monday that he was getting "precariously close" to violating a gag order by verbalizing his opinion on Barry Bonds' upcoming trial on steroid allegations.

Apparently, United States District Court Judge Reggie B. Walton was unaware of the fact that the Rocket never ever shuts the hell up. Ever. The sound of his own voice is music to his ears.

Despite being told clearly last August to keep his giant mouth from opening, Clemens and his former trainer Brian McNamee gave interviews about the case last week.

Just two days after McNamee went on a radio show denouncing the accusation that he is a "rat," the Rocket told ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike that he's excited to defend himself:

Jose Guillen is [Allegedly] an Idiot

The San Francisco Giants are rolling right through the World Series, winning the first two games at AT&T Park this week. Obviously, this puts the players and the organization in high spirits.

Sadly, their buzz may be killed with the news of outfielder Jose Guillen -- left off the postseason roster due to a nagging neck injury -- being linked to a federal investigation into shipments of performance-enhancing drugs.

Really Jose? Again?

Apparently, several unidentified lawyers informed Major League Baseball just before the playoffs began that they were looking into shipments of human growth hormone that was sent to Guillen's wife, who lives in the Bay Area.

Blah Blah Steroids... What do YOU think?

Dearest BLB readers,

I just had to take a moment to ask your thoughts on Roger Clemens being indicted. Do you think he's delusional enough to believe that he never used anything? Do you think he'll go to prison? Do you think he deserves to go to prison if he's found guilty? What about that creepy Brian McNamee keeping all those DNA covered syringes? Do you think McNamee had planned to screw Clemens all along? Do you think Barry Bonds is next on the list to be indicted?

Roger Clemens is a Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Blah blah steroids.

Roger Clemens was indicted Thursday on a series of charges for lying to the United States Congress of all people about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

People lie about their age, their weight, their whereabouts to their wives, but lying to Congress? That's a big no-no. A snippet from the 19-page indictment:

In truth and in fact, as Clemens well knew when he gave this testimony, Clemens knowingly received injections of anabolic steroids while he was an MLB player.

A-Rod Finally Hits 600

We've been oh so tired, recovering from all the interviews we did at the Twins and Pins Charity Bowling Classic last week, so forgive us for ignoring you, our dear readers.

In the past week, we've let the trade deadline come and go, injuries have happened, and the sports news world was all abuzz because Alex Rodriguez was sitting at 599 homeruns for what seemed like an eternity. Well now, maybe baseball writers will finally have something better to talk about because he finally hit number 600.

Blah Blah Steroids: Jose Canseco

Can you imagine the sort of shady crap you'd have to be involved with for the FEDERAL BUREAU of INVESTIGATION to show up at your doorstep? Yeah, that kind of thing only happens on television... unless you're Jose Canseco.

I happened to be scanning my Tweetdeck this afternoon when @JoseCanseco (yes, I totally follow him and yes, aside from the fact he has a little trouble with spelling and some anger management issues, it's pretty entertaining) tweeted the following...

A Little Help From My Friends?

As John Lennon and Paul McCartney once cooked up in a swirl of psychedelic delusion, "I get by with a little help from my friends."

As many of you know, I am a student at St. Cloud State University, currently studying criminal justice, journalism and broadcasting. Weird combo, I know.

Anyhow, I'm in a rather enjoyable rhetorical and analytical writing class this semester and I need some help on a paper I've been assigned. It's a persuasive essay on a semi-controversial topic, with my assigned persuasion being from the minority end.

Naturally, as a rabid baseball fan, I've chosen to write about the Steroid Era and its relation to the Hall of Fame. It seems the majority of fans (and the voting members of the BBWAA) feel steroids have no place in the Hall. That will be apparent when Mark McGwire's 23.7 percent of the votes he received in 2009 drops even farther next year thanks to his recent admission of performance-enhancing drug use. Unless he gets brownie points for honesty? Probably not.

Mark McGwire: Back in the Game

For those of you who assumed Mark McGwire was gone from baseball for good, think again.

Though he hasn't been even the smallest percentage as irritating as former Bash Brother Jose Canseco, McGwire has been accused of being a big, fat, dirty cheater and also, a liar liar pants on fire.

Ortiz To Hold News Conference With Weiner

David Ortiz owes his fans (and the people who could care less) an explanation as to why he alledegly tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs back in 2003.

The Boston Red Sox semi-slugger, along with future players' union head honcho Michael Weiner will hold a news conference this Saturday (in enemy territory) at Yankee Stadium just before the series finale.

According to Big Papi, the union confirmed the presence of his name on the infamous court-sealed 2003 steroids list last week. He has had very little to say since then, but I believe we can let his bat do the talking.

.225/15/61

Just sayin'.

[Full Count] | [Boston Sports] | [Sports Station]

Blah Blah Steroids: Big Papi Edition

David Ortiz has become the latest player named in major league baseball’s steroid scandal, confirming Thursday that the players’ union told him he tested positive back in 2003.

"I’ve just been told that the report is true," said the Boston Red Sox slugger. "Based on the way I lived my life I’m surprised to learn I tested positive."

Though Ortiz has never been linked to the drug scandal, it's no surprise he tested positive along with former teammate Manny Ramirez six years ago.

So yeah, stop acting so shocked.

[Steady Burn] | [My Sports Rumors] | [Josh Q. Public]

Sit Down Juan Pierre, Manny's Back

All you folks who have been hanging on for dear life to Manny Ramirez, waiting patiently for his return to your fantasy roster while the rest of your outfield struggled? You can breathe easy once again.

Those 50 games he was forced to sit out after testing positive for stupidity are finally over, as he'll start in the Los Angeles Dodgers outfield Friday against Chad Gaudin and the San Diego Padres. Manny is batting a career .455 (5-for-11) against the right-hander with two homers, three RBIs and 2 walks. Not bad.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911. Have a safe and happy Fourth of July weekend! See ya Monday.

We Barely Had Time to Miss You, Manny

What with Manny Ramirez being in the news every couple days for saying something brilliant, we barely even had time to miss him. Has it really been almost 50 games? My, how the time flies.

The suspended Los Angeles Dodgers slugger played in his final minor league rehab game Monday night for the Class-A San Bernadino Inland Empire 66ers, going 1-for-3 with an infield single in the leadoff spot as designated hitter and striking out twice for the second game in a row.

Albuquerque Loves Manny

Los Angeles Dodgers troubled and possibly mentally-ill slugger Manny Ramirez, enjoying a 50-game suspension after failing at life, was welcomed back to baseball with open arms and loud cheers in Albuquerque this week.

Suiting up in #99 for the AAA Dodgers affiliate Isotopes on Tuesday, Manny went hitless in two at bats as they beat the Nashville Sounds, 1-0. Good news for the Isotopes however, as they saw a record crowd of 15,321, most coming to see the grounded outfielder and some even sporting fake dreads.

Manny Needs to be Bitch-Slapped

Manny Ramirez says he doesn't want to be a distraction, yet he keeps opening his stupid mouth.

The Los Angeles Dodgers borderline brain-dead slugger hung out with a few reporters Tuesday and discussed his future in baseball. When asked about his recent 50-game suspension, he had this to say...

"That's in the past. Whatever happened, that's in the past and I'm coming to play my game and move on. I don't want to be a distraction for this team."

Oh, but that's not all. He went on to trivialize his actions, create a distraction, and seriously piss me off all at the same time.

"I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it. I'm just going to come and play the game."

Forgive me for being incredibly offended, but to compare unforgivable deeds such as rape and murder to cheating at baseball is just plain asinine.

Manny, you can go ahead and stop talking anytime now.

Update: The Commissioner's Office called to remind the Dodgers today that Manny is not allowed in the clubhouse while reporters are around, and that it's likely not a good idea to have him visit at all until his suspension ends on July 2nd.

[FOX Sports] | [Walkoff Walk] | [FanHouse]