Roger Clemens is a Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Blah blah steroids.

Roger Clemens was indicted Thursday on a series of charges for lying to the United States Congress of all people about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

People lie about their age, their weight, their whereabouts to their wives, but lying to Congress? That's a big no-no. A snippet from the 19-page indictment:

In truth and in fact, as Clemens well knew when he gave this testimony, Clemens knowingly received injections of anabolic steroids while he was an MLB player.

Blah Blah Steroids: Hot Tub Party!

In an attempt to spoil our Spring happiness, Brian McNamee has come forward with more "news" (i.e. self-deprecating confessions) regarding the never-ending Roger Clemens' steroid scandal.

He injected him with an illegal substance in a hot tub.

Not just any hot tub, but the sacred hot tub in Yankee Stadium. Another time (July or August of 2001) McNamee claims he shot up The Rocket in the pitcher's high-rise Manhattan apartment.

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Brian McNamee Sucks at Driving

When I think of "fainting" I picture a woman wearing a corset and bustle, a fan in one hand with her other draped over her flushed face.

I did not picture Brian McNamee in a car, but that's exactly what he did behind the wheel Thursday, smashing his Lexus full-on into a Queens city bus. Why is this relevant? It's not, really.

No one was seriously injured, so it's okay to laugh... even though we know you totally already did.

[Bleacher Report]

Roger Clemens 1, Brian McNamee 0

In a report released Tuesday, police say detectives believe Brian McNamee lied to them during a 2001 investigation of a possible rape.

Documents pertaining to the investigation say the former New York Yankees trainer was having sex with a drugged woman in a hotel pool and didn't stop when confronted by the resort's security. The police were called, but when they arrived, McNamee had helped her out of the pool to get dressed. The woman was then taken to a nearby hospital, where she was found to have GHB -- the date rape drug -- in her system.

Sick.

McNamee, of course, denied having sex with the woman, even though security guards and other witnesses said they saw him. He hired a fancy New York lawyer, and the state attorney's office decided against pressing charges.

This not only turns McNamee into a possible douchebag, but also questions his credibility as a testifying witness in baseball's war on steroids.

It says absolutely everything about his character... which is that of a total douchebag. Allegedly.

[Newsday]