Roger Clemens Lives to Suck Another Day

First and foremost, we missed you. Marea and I have both been incredibly busy with life. Clearly, we've had time to watch, read about, and obsess on baseball, just not even close to enough time to write about it. Anywho, glad to be back.

Roger Clemens, who we love to hate and hate to talk about except when it's really important or super hilarious, is one lucky son of a biotch. Turns out the prosecutors in charge of his perjury case are complete and utter morons.

U.S. District Judge Reggie Walton declared a mistrial Thursday after prosecuting attorneys totally effed things up by showing the jurors some evidence against the court's orders on just the second day of testimony. Basically, the jurors may or may not have been swayed regarding their opinions on the credibility of Andy Pettitte, who was probably quite looking forward to testifying against his old buddy and former teammate.

Therefore, the judge decided Clemens, no matter how big a d-bag he may be, deserves a fair trial so he rescheduled a hearing for September 2 in which they'll figure out whether or not to hold a brand spankin' new trial.

/legal mumbo jumbo.

So.... is The Rocket gonna go to jail ever or what? I just want to see him publicly humiliated some more.

[Sports Illustrated]

Roger Clemens is a Liar Liar Pants on Fire

Blah blah steroids.

Roger Clemens was indicted Thursday on a series of charges for lying to the United States Congress of all people about his use of performance-enhancing drugs.

People lie about their age, their weight, their whereabouts to their wives, but lying to Congress? That's a big no-no. A snippet from the 19-page indictment:

In truth and in fact, as Clemens well knew when he gave this testimony, Clemens knowingly received injections of anabolic steroids while he was an MLB player.

Mariano Rivera Spitball? No Way Says MLB

A Youtube video has surfaced today which appears to show Mariano Rivera shiftily spitting on the baseball before a pitch. Major League Baseball of course denies the allegations, finding no reason to discipline the New York Yankees closer.

Kids, a spitball is an illegal baseball pitch in which the ball has been altered by the application of saliva, petroleum jelly, or some other foreign substance, according the almighty Wikipedia.

So did he spit on the ball or not? It's hard to say, though the trajectory of the spit certainly seems to be headed directly for the ball.

CSU Baseball Coach's Pants Are On Fire

Just days after it was announced on the school's athletics site that Chicago State University Baseball Coach Husain Mahmoud will remain the head coach of CSU’s baseball team, the announcement was taken down. Why? Because he's a liar liar pants on fire, that's why.

A tip was emailed by an anonymous alumni alumnus guy who used to go there and forwarded on to us by Brian Foley of The College Baseball Blog. Here is what the anonymous snitch had to say:

I am writing you guys to let you know about Chicago State University (Div. 1 independent) Baseball Coach Husain Mahmoud.

If you click on the article that was put on the CSU website when Mahmoud was hired (link below), it states a number of things that a little bit of research by some people was found to be absolutely false.

After doing some research to verify what was said in the article, a few things were uncovered, quite easily, which make it appear that we fabricated some stuff and was not truthful. Reach your own conclusion, I am just presenting what I have found.

He says he was drafted by the Reds in the 30th round in 1971. The 30th round draft pick by the reds in 1971 was Craig Kleibl, out of Miami.

He says he lead the league in passing in this football league in both 1977 and 1978, even though it appears from the links below that the league folded in 1969, and there wasn't even a league during these years:

He says he was on the Chicago Fire in 1985, even though the Chicago Fire had stopped being a football team before 1985. [Ed. note: the article claims Mahmoud played with the Chicago Fire in 1980 not 1985. The Fire was no longer a team as of 1975, which makes him a fibber either way.]

Well I'll be. But I ask you: Why, in this day and age of the new-fangled innernets do people think they can lie about things like this? I mean, my Match.com profile says I'm 5'10 and 36-24-36. But really I'm only 5'8.

We've reached out to the school's athletic department for comment. We'll keep you posted, but we can only assume their official response will be, "Google? Never heard of it."