Jose Guillen is [Allegedly] an Idiot

The San Francisco Giants are rolling right through the World Series, winning the first two games at AT&T Park this week. Obviously, this puts the players and the organization in high spirits.

Sadly, their buzz may be killed with the news of outfielder Jose Guillen -- left off the postseason roster due to a nagging neck injury -- being linked to a federal investigation into shipments of performance-enhancing drugs.

Really Jose? Again?

Apparently, several unidentified lawyers informed Major League Baseball just before the playoffs began that they were looking into shipments of human growth hormone that was sent to Guillen's wife, who lives in the Bay Area.

The Royals are a Bunch of Babies

Jose Guillen is not happy with his Kansas City Royals play of late (or ever) and made it clear Wednesday night, just moments after the club' 10th straight loss.

I'm sure he's not any more thrilled after losing their eleventh straight Thursday, when Kevin Slowey and the Twins finished a sweep with a 5-1 win... which was almost a shutout, except Slowey totally lost it with 2 outs in the ninth.

Someone better call the Wahmbulance.

[MLB]

Jose Guillen to KC, Jones May Follow

Shady outfielder Jose Guillen and the Kansas City Royals have reached an agreement on a $36 million, three-year contract.

The 31-year-old righty hit .290 with 23 bombs and 99 RBIs for the Seattle Mariners last year, but the club declined its $9 million option while Guillen turned down a $5 million player option and moved on with his life.

Last month, the San Francisco Chronicle reported that he bought nearly $20,000 worth of steroids and human growth hormone between 2003-05, making him a dirty, dirty cheater.

No Way, Jose

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Seattle Mariners outfielder Jose Guillen bought nearly $20,000 worth of steroids and human growth hormone from 2003-05, making him a total cheater, since MLB began testing for steroids in 2003 and HGH was banned in January of 2005.

Records from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center show that Guillen ordered three types of HGH, two kinds of testosterone, and stanozolol and nandrolone -- both steroids -- between May 2002 and June 2005.

The 31-year-old Guillen, who is facing free agency, hit .290 with 23 homers and 99 RBIs last season for the Mariners, who declined their $9 million option on his contract for 2008, even though they may still be interested in keeping him around.

Former big leaguers Matt Williams and Ismael Valdez also purchased performance-enhancing drugs from the Florida anti-aging clinic in 2002.

[San Francisco Chronicle]

Wednesday's Babelicious Scoreboard

Fans tuned in from all across the globe to witness an outstanding pitching performance. They got one - from strikeout leader Felix Hernandez (2-0, 0.00 ERA) - rather than the expected show by Daisuke Matsuzaka (1-1, 2.57 ERA). Seattle's pitching phenom racked up 6 more K's and didn't allow a hit until J.D. Drew spoiled his no-no bid with a single on the first pitch he saw in the eighth inning.

The Mariners' (3-2) victory, a 3-0 win over the Red Sox (4-4), marked Hernandez's third complete game in 45 starts - his performance overshadowing the much-anticipated first big league matchup between Dice-K and Ichiro Suzuki.

Brendan Donnelly Busted with Pine Tar

Brendan Donnelly is restrained by teammates after Seattle's Jose Guillen ratted him out for using pine tar, which caused the benches to empty in the eighth inning.

The Red Sox celebrated their Home Opener by roughing up World Series star Jeff Weaver for seven runs. Jason Varitek and Kevin Youkilis each had three of Boston's 14 hits, and J.D. Drew homered in his debut at Fenway Park. The Sox also drew seven walks and hit seven doubles.

Josh Beckett pitched a seven inning two-hitter, striking out eight and allowing only one run while sending down his final 15 batters. The Mariners didn't help their cause, committing two errors between leftfielder Raul Ibanez and shortstop Yuniesky Betancourt.

[MLB]