Tampa Bay Rays Rookie Matt Moore Crushes Texas Rangers in ALDS

Matt Moore is a total stud. You know it, I know it. Joe Maddon definitely knows it, and now the entire baseball-watching world knows it.

The adorable 22-year-old rookie left-hander, who joined the Tampa Bay Rays just three weeks ago, had the game of his life Friday night in just his second big league start ever. Tossing two-hit ball, he struck out six Texas Rangers and walked two.

No pitcher in the history of the game had ever started a postseason opener with just one career start under his belt until Moore took the hill at Rangers Ballpark less than 24 hours after being informed he was pitching in the playoffs. Eight days earlier, he fanned eleven New York Yankees over five scoreless innings and surrendered just four hits and a walk... pretty impressive to say the least. Moore had this to say post-game:

"They didn’t give me a whole lot of time to get nervous and to think about it a lot. I didn’t want to be out of it before I was in it… I tried to be as normal, as normal and as calm as possible. And it was just a matter of getting comfortable, and there on it was throwing strikes."

Rays Win, Red Sox Lose, AL Wild Card All Tied Up

With only two games remaining in the regular season, the American League Wild-Card is all knotted up between the Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays.

Boston found yet another way to lose a ballgame Monday evening, squandering their one-game lead over the Tampa Bay Rays with a 6-3 loss to the Baltimore Orioles. This marks their 17th failure in 22 games, creating a giant sucking sound out of Beantown.

Josh Beckett started for Boston and ended up surrendering seven runs on six hits over six innings, losing to the Orioles for the second time in less than a week. Ouch. An attempted rally in the eighth was thwarted when the Red Sox loaded the bases with one out, missing the opportunity when Pedro Strop struck out Jarrod Saltalamacchia (who was hit in the throat with a foul ball in the bottom half of the inning) and retired Marco Scutaro on a grounder to end the threat.

The Red Sox must win their final two games, and at worst, back into the postseason by winning a one-game playoff against the Rays. That would be the most exciting scenario, of course, but either way they control their own destiny. Former Oriole Erik Bedard will face his old team Tuesday night against rookie left-hander Zach Britton, who has a career 10.80 ERA against the Red Sox over two games this season. Looking good for Boston.

Johnny Damon says Detroit '1st Choice'

In related news, I think Long Island is the best place to live on the planet. The abundant smell of Axe Body Spray wherever you go. The tans in January, the blinding glow of gold chains on the juiced up shaved chests of the resident guidos. Right. Exactly. This place is hell on earth.

Just yesterday I was at my local New York Sports Club heaving on one of the cardio machines, and there was some jagoff doing curls (with probably 20 pound weights may I add), and with every curl he grunted "SUMMERS COMING. SUMMERS COMING." Anyway, this is off topic. I just felt like giving ya'll some insight into the cesspool of humanity that is Strong Island.

At Long Last, Johnny Damon is Signed

Finally. Johnny Damon is no longer hanging in the free agent balance.

The outfielder has agreed to a one-year, $8 million deal with the Detroit Tigers, complete with a shiny no-trade clause. Damon, who hit .286 with 24 homers last season for the New York Yankees, will likely bat in the leadoff spot this year.

Maybe, just maybe, we can shut the hell up about him now. At least until he does something awesome that's baseball-related... or gets busted with a hooker.

[MLB] | [NESN] | [Bless You Boys] | [Major League Jerk]

Johnny Damon is a Diva

According to the Chicago Sun-Times, the Chicago White Sox are pretty “confident” that they will be signing Johnny Damon in the near future. In fact, the newspaper quotes an anonymous team source as saying he would be “surprised if he didn’t sign” with them.

I sure hope so, because honestly, this might be the last time I ever write about him. Unless he gets busted using PEDs. Or gets caught with a hooker… anything more exciting than this OH MY GOODNESS WHO WILL SIGN JOHNNY DAMON business.

Continue reading and comment on this story at SportsUntapped.

Johnny Damon: Tomahawk Chop?

Editor’s note: Calm down, this headline was in no way meant to be racially insensitive.

Johnny Damon, quite possibly the most eligible free agent on the market at this point, sent a text message to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution expressing interest in joining the Braves. Now, the team has offered him a one-year deal.

No amount has been reported, but it’s safe to say it might not be the $13 million he made last year in the Big Apple.

Continue reading and comment on this story at SportsUntapped.

You Can’t Catch Johnny Damon!

A day after the New York Yankees came back to win Game 3, Johnny Damon became the difference-maker with a two-out, ninth-inning, game-saving performance.

The Yankees took a 3-1 World Series lead with a 7-4 victory over the Philadelphia Phillies just after the reigning champs had started a rally in the seventh inning. Chase Utley took CC Sabathia’s 107th pitch of the evening into the right-field bleachers to make it a one-run game on his third bomb of the Series.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Sports Untapped.

There's a First Time for Everything

After 13 1/2 seasons and 1,927 regular-season games, Johnny Damon finds himself on the disabled list for the very first time.

The New York Yankees left fielder sprained and bruised his left shoulder after crashing into the left-field fence on a leaping catch during the Yankees' 6-4 loss to the Boston Red Sox on Friday. The swelling was worse on Sunday, and he was placed on the 15-day DL.

This is a pretty big blow to the 47-42 Bronx Bombers, who are 9 games behind the AL East-leading Tampa Bay Rays heading into a 2-game set against them in New York on Tuesday.

The 34-year-old Damon was batting .319 at the top of the order with 6 homers and 34 RBIs on the season and is scheduled to return on July 20th if all goes well.

[AP] | [RotoDish] | [LoHud Yankees Blog] | [Yankees Kids Talk]

Fatty, Dummy, and a Gay Guy

I love YouTube more than anything. While cruising the NY gossip columns this morning, I read about this gem, and decided to peruse The Internets to see if I could find it. Low and behold, Roger Clemens singing with Johnny Damon and Kenney Chesney. Rene Zellwiger left Chesney because he was apparently a member of the homosex.

Peyton Manning is crying in his Fruit Loops. And on the day of his season opener. Shame on YOU Kenny.

*Editors Note: FOUND A BETTER VERSION OF THE VIDEO. The room is spinning... you know, from the gayness.

Johnny Damon Claims His Calves Are Still Sexy

Johnny Damon, out with a mild strain in his right calf from Monday night's game, was not in the New York Yankees' lineup Thursday night against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Awaiting MRI results, the club is considering placing the center fielder on the 15-day disabled list.

Damon, who has never actually been on the DL, was in the trainer's room receiving treatment before the game and had this to say:

"I'm feeling better today than I was yesterday. I'm going to get after it with the trainers for the rest of the day and see where we are tomorrow. I still have sexy calves."

No, I didn't make that last part up.

Melky Cabrera started center in Damon's place, with second baseman Robinson Cano in the leadoff spot.

[MSNBC]

Johnny Damon Returns To Camp

Johnny Damon rejoined the Yankees at Legends Field on Monday after a two-day excused absence to tend to what he described as a personal matter.

The center fielder spent the weekend at home with his family in the Orlando area, but wouldn't discuss the specifics, because "the issue has been resolved... everything is great." He did let on that it did not involve his father or baby girl, who was born in January. He eluded:

Fortunately, a little personal matter that I had take to care of was in February and not in June or July or anytime during the season. I feel a lot better today than a couple days ago. Something was worrying me and I took care of it. It's a non-issue now.

Seriously? What, are you in the mob now? Damon did receive permission to leave after talking with GM Brian Cashman and manager Joe Torre following Friday's workout. He says that he feels like a stronger person because those two days were apparently key to keeping his mind clear. He says it's all about baseball now.

Carl Pavano Injury Update: The MRI exam and X-rays taken Sunday on the right-hander's injured left foot showed a bone bruise from being nailed by a liner during Saturday's batting practice. He says he feels a little stiff, but that it's nothing to worry about.

[ESPN]

Carl Pavano, Mariano Rivera Injury Updates

After being nailed in the left foot by an Alberto Gonzalez liner on Saturday, Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano had an MRI exam and X-rays taken Sunday on his injured left foot. The team hasn't immediately released the results, but Pavano said afterward that he wasn't concerned since the tests were simply a precautionary measure. He continued to throw pitched after being hit, and doesn't seem at all concerned about a return to the mound.

Pavano didn't participate in on-field drills, but he did undergo treatment like icing and elevating. It's pretty up in the air if the right-hander will pitch in Tuesday's intrasquad game or not.

"Hopefully he doesn't fall behind significantly. It's not going to matter if he misses a day or so. I'm sure it's sore. We'll have to wait and see," manager Joe Torre said.

Pavano, going into the third season of a four-year contract, hasn't pitched in the majors since June 27, 2005, due to a variety of injuries.

Also, thanks to Sam for this tidbit of information: closer Mariano Rivera threw 32 pitches during his second BP session, adding a huge smile after Robinson Cano whiffed his last pitch. The righty told the New York Times that he won't sign with the Bronx Bombers' archrivals in Boston, considering the teams' fierce rivalry. So, you can quit drooling now, Red Sox fans.

In other Yankees news, center fielder Johnny Damon, who left spring training camp for what he stated as a personal matter, is expected to return as soon as Monday after missing two days of workouts. Right-handed pitcher Humberto Sanchez threw BP after his regular session had been pushed back one day due to mild tightness in his right forearm. Reliever Brian Bruney will be shutdown for four or five days with back problems and lefty pitcher Ben Kozlowski will not throw for a couple days due to issues with his side.

[CBS Sportsline] | [ESPN]

Johnny Damon Has the IQ of Toast

Red Sox Nation has more reasons to boo Judas Damon when he returns to Fenway this year.

Damon told MLB.com today that "he's always wanted to be a Yankee, even back when he played for the Royals."

Obviously, Daddy Steinbrenner would have understood his stripper-banging, clubhouse Jack Daniels swilling, lumberjack bead wearing ways. As Dan Shaugnessy once said, Damon has the depth of your average kiddie pool. As much as it may make your average Yankee fan die a little inside, Damon didn't sign with the Yankees because they are such an amazing organization, he went so he could continue to afford breast lifts for his "not a former stripper" wife.

Come on, if Tampa Bay had offered him $20 million a year, he would have happily settled winning 5 or 6 games a season.

Damon also told MLB.com that his six-week-old daughter is already balancing and standing, and claims she will be walking by six months. I hope she ends up just as smart as her daddy.

[MLB]