Texas Rangers Give Derek Holland and His Mustache 5 Years, $28 Million

Derek Holland and the Texas Rangers agreed to a five year, $28 million deal on Tuesday, keeping the pubescent-looking lefty in Arlington through 2016.

The 25-year-old Holland went 16-5 last season, pitching lights out, two-hit ball over 8.1 shutout innings against the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 4 of the World Series. In fact, in 12 postseason appearances over the past two years, he is 3-0 with a 3.82 ERA. Not too shabby I suppose.

With Neftali Feliz moving to the rotation to join Colby Lewis, Alexi Ogando, Matt Harrison, and the offseason addition of Yu Darvish, Rangers fans can barely remember that straight edge prankster they once loved to pieces.

Holland could have become a free agent in 2015, but had this to say on that very topic:

"I know I gave up that stuff, the three years, but to me it’s all about being in Texas and wearing that Texas uniform and going back and getting some championships. I’m very excited to be a part of this. We’ve got an unbelievable team. We’ve got upcoming stars coming up through the organization, and I want to be part of that, as well. I want to show them what it takes to be up here. That’s my main objective is to carry out what I’ve been doing, continue to work hard."

He went on to say that the most important thing on his to-do list is purchasing a home in Dallas. And some cowboy boots and a giant belt buckle, of course. I mean, just look at him.

[ESPN]

Top Ten Things Babes Love Baseball is Thankful for in 2011

We're thankful for so many things. Baseball, beer, and shoes being the three most important, obviously. Oh, and family of course... but there are so many baseball-related things to be grateful for that we felt the need to compile a list and share it with all of you. No, Joe Mauer is not one of them. He's disappointed us to no end this season and really, we'd rather not talk about it. Wouldn't want him to land on the DL with hurt feelings.

10. A nice hot stove. Although Marea's favorite NFL team sucks ass this season, Sooze's is doing quite well. The best actually. But there have been other MLB offseasons in which football has not gotten us through the winter. Not even close. And it's because of the NFL's blatant disregard for happiness that we are incredibly thankful for MLB Network. Best. Channel. Ever.

9. The Dugout: The Official Chatroom of Major League Baseball. If you haven't read one of these little gems, you are totally missing out. In fact, we're disgusted with you. Just click the link.

8. Players like C.J. Wilson. Without guys like him to make fun of, this blog would be boring as hell and we probably would've given up a long time ago. Thanks, buddy.

7. The Youtubes. Thank you to all you nerds out there who tirelessly post videos of protected content that you know MLB will be taking down in just a matter of time. We enjoy them while we can.

Derek Holland, It's Been Fun but We Are Begging You to Shave

Texas Rangers left-hander Derek Holland threw 8.1 scoreless innings in Game 4 against the St. Louis Cardinals Sunday night to come away with a 4-0 victory and tie up the best-of-seven series at two games a-piece. He was razor sharp.

All while sporting that ridiculous mustache. Puberty is uncomfortable for everyone, especially when you're on National television.

Please... please shave it off. But please don't stop your Ron Washington impersonation.

Magglio Ordonez Out of Commission, Delmon Young Returns

Unfortunately for Magglio Ordonez, he will miss all the fun and excitement that comes with the rest of whatever playoffs lay ahead for his Detroit Tigers, whose outfielders are dropping like flies.

Ordonez fractured his right ankle some time during Game 1 of the American League Championship Series on Saturday, exiting in the top of the fifth inning when he drew a walk between rain delays before being replaced by a pinch-runner.

Tampa Bay Rays Rookie Matt Moore Crushes Texas Rangers in ALDS

Matt Moore is a total stud. You know it, I know it. Joe Maddon definitely knows it, and now the entire baseball-watching world knows it.

The adorable 22-year-old rookie left-hander, who joined the Tampa Bay Rays just three weeks ago, had the game of his life Friday night in just his second big league start ever. Tossing two-hit ball, he struck out six Texas Rangers and walked two.

No pitcher in the history of the game had ever started a postseason opener with just one career start under his belt until Moore took the hill at Rangers Ballpark less than 24 hours after being informed he was pitching in the playoffs. Eight days earlier, he fanned eleven New York Yankees over five scoreless innings and surrendered just four hits and a walk... pretty impressive to say the least. Moore had this to say post-game:

"They didn’t give me a whole lot of time to get nervous and to think about it a lot. I didn’t want to be out of it before I was in it… I tried to be as normal, as normal and as calm as possible. And it was just a matter of getting comfortable, and there on it was throwing strikes."