Johnny Damon says Detroit '1st Choice'

In related news, I think Long Island is the best place to live on the planet. The abundant smell of Axe Body Spray wherever you go. The tans in January, the blinding glow of gold chains on the juiced up shaved chests of the resident guidos. Right. Exactly. This place is hell on earth.

Just yesterday I was at my local New York Sports Club heaving on one of the cardio machines, and there was some jagoff doing curls (with probably 20 pound weights may I add), and with every curl he grunted "SUMMERS COMING. SUMMERS COMING." Anyway, this is off topic. I just felt like giving ya'll some insight into the cesspool of humanity that is Strong Island.

Defending Erin Andrews

Tyler Ohmann thinks Erin Andrews orchestrated the inappropriate nude videos of herself which are floating around the internet. Therefore, he is on my shit list.

Who the hell is Tyler Ohmann, you ask? Well, he's a complete moron. Aside from that, he moonlights as the "sports editor" of the University Chronicle for St. Cloud State University in Minnesota. Me being a fellow Husky, I can't decide whether I'm more irritated with his views on the matter, or the fact that we attend the same institution. Too bad they don't offer a Common Sense course for guys like him.

She's behind these tapes about as much as she likes being stalked by handicapped Georgians. Yeah, that totally happened.

Go Straight to Your Room Young Man

The apple never falls too far...

Koby Clemens, backstop son of Roger Clemens, and two other minor league teammates were arrested and thrown in the slammer this weekend after wreaking havoc at a restaurant in Salem, Virginia, home of the Class-A Salem Avalanche.