A.J. Pierzynski Finally Hurts Himself, Lands on DL

If you're not living on the south side of Chicago, you may be surprised to know that A.J. Pierzynski has never landed on the disabled list during his entire 14-year career... up until now.

The Chicago White Sox placed their catcher on the 15-day disabled list Tuesday with a fractured left wrist after he was nailed by a Bruce Chen pitch in the third inning of Friday night's 5-1 loss to the Kansas City Royals. He removed himself from the game after the fourth, and the first set of X-rays were negative, but apparently he's still pretty sore. The move is retroactive to August 13.

Pierzynski, batting .296 with 39 RBI, leads American League catchers in batting average, games played and innings behind the plate. Also, he and Jason Kendall are the only active backstops with at least 1,000 innings caught in each of the last nine seasons. He's kind of a workhorse. Not our favorite player by a long shot... and his mustache is creepy as hell... but he's definitely reliable.

[ESPN Chicago]

Stop It Right Now, A.J. Pierzynski

God damn it, you suck. It hurts my brain.

(Photo of A.J.'s stupid head courtesy of Litterblog. And yes. On Black Wednesday, the most awful day in the MLB season, this is the kind of news we resort to.)

Ten Reasons to Root for Tampa Bay

Today, the Tampa Bay Rays will take on the Chicago White Sox in game one of the ALDS at Tropicana Field. I thought it might be fun to find some new reasons to love the TB Rays, other than my intense dislike for the CWS team, their terrible network announcers, and their annoying fans.

So, in the spirit of creativity, here is a list of 10 new fun reasons why we should all jump on the crowded Tampa Bay bandwagon.

10.) This marks the first time in more than a decade that a team other than the Yankees or the Red Sox have won this division.

Sox Advance, Get Me Drunk

Big thanks to Jim Thome’s old school bat and Ken Griffey Jr.’s older school cannon for making the Chicago White Sox the 2008 AL Central winner.

Lefty John Danks tossed eight impressive innings of two-hit ball on minimal rest, seeing Junior nail Michael Cuddyer at home and Thome smoke one in the seventh to help the South Siders beat the division rival Minnesota Twins 1-0 in their nail-biting, tie-breaking 163rd game of the season.

A.J. Restrains Himself, Olivo

Miguel Olivo, who was suspended once already this season for throwing punches, was grounded again this weekend for charging the mound.

After being hit in the wrist by a D.J. Carrasco pitch on Sunday, Olivo flipped out and started running toward the hill. Thankfully, A.J. Pierzynski was there to cool him down! Too bad he got nailed in his retarded bleached head in the process.

A Little Late, a Little Long

The Chicago White Sox gave catcher A.J. Pierzynski a two-year, $12.5 million contract extension Saturday, keeping him on the South Side through the 2010 season.

The controversial backstop was batting .263 with 14 homers and 50 RBIs before Sunday's game against the Detroit Tigers.

The White Sox, who were 17 games under .500 coming into the last game of the season, have also signed their loud-mouth manager Ozzie Guillen, left-hander Mark Buehrle, who threw a no-no earlier in the year, and right fielder Jermaine Dye to contract extensions this year.

Will this move help them win another World Series? Ah, no. Let's try playing .500 baseball first. One thing is for sure, it ought to make for at least two more entertaining seasons.

[Chicago Sun-Times] | [South Side Sox] | [Sox Machine]

Dear Diary: A.J. Pierzynski

We here at Babes Love Baseball pride ourselves on being able to bring you nothing but the finest and most groundbreaking in baseball news. So being as charming and beautiful as we are, we've been able to charm our way into getting access to your favorite MLB player's personal journals. Today, we hear from AJ Pierzynski. If there's any particular player you'd like to hear from, feel free to let us know.

Dear Diary:

Today was awesome. I woke up, banged my housekeeper over the kitchen sink WHILE the bitch was making my breakfast. While I ate my sausage and ham omelette with a side of steak, I made her irrigate my balls with her tongue. Whatever, I'm fuckin awesome. Bitch better remember to iron my daughters ugly head bow collection.

After my shower, I went outside naked and kicked my neighbor's cat. I hate cats. I love being naked though, and I bet all the LADIEEZ love seeing them some naked AJ in the morning. Hell, the men probably do too. I'm just so goodlooking, I bet even the birds want to find a way to do me. Seriously. Who wouldn't.

A.J. Pierzynski Suspended One Game

Controversial Chicago White Sox backstop, A.J. Pierzynski was given a one-game suspension and fined an undisclosed amount today for his ejection during Thursday's 10-3 loss to the New York Yankees.

With two out in the eighth inning and the tying run at the plate, A.J. was tossed by plate umpire Bob Davidson after a swinging third strike off closer Mariano Rivera.

The blowup was for nothing, as Pierzynski admitted after the fact that it wasn't Davidson's fault that he swung and missed.

[Chicago Sun Times]

Mistresses For MLB Players

Alex Rodriguez cheats on his wife. Crap, the next think you're going to tell me is that Barry Bonds stuck a needle full of cow hormones into his fanny.
So in celebration of Major League Baseball players skankbag ways, I've decided to take a handful of players and match them up with their ideal slutty celebrity equivilant.

Derek Jeter and Lindsay Lohan

Jeter is one of the few players in the league to embrace his promiscuity, never get married, and make whoopee with just about every hot woman in the world (and not so hot. Jury is still out on Mariah Carey). Lindsay Lohan is a cracked out skank in rehab. I think they'd be great together.

It's Obvious Who Would Win in a Brawl

Really, we've been trying to avoid the whole A.J. Pierzynski circus around here. Okay, we haven't. We've just been stewing. Waiting. And since he's not playing today, we'll take our shots now.

I'm watching the game right now - the Sox are ahead of the Twins 4-1 6-1 6-4 in the third - and so far this series, every time A.J. comes to the plate he gets booed like he never wore #26 in Minnesota. He even gets booed when he warms up the pitchers.

The controversial Chicago White Sox catcher, generally known as a total a-hole, seems to creates controversy on a regular basis. Whether it's his brazen approach to the game, outspoken comments, or faux-wrestling on Pay-Per-View, he rubs people the wrong way - maybe even the good people of Chicago.

We Still Love You, Mark Buehrle

Chicago White Sox hurler Mark Buehrle said yesterday there is absolutely no animosity between him and catcher A.J. Pierzynski, even after he acted a fool in our interview.

Buehrle defended back-up catcher Toby Hall on Sunday after A.J. voiced his disappointment on a Chicago radio show about Hall being chosen over him for the starting duty in the Interleague opener against the Chicago Cubs. Buehrle told the Chicago Tribune:

I think it is disrespecting Toby. It's kind of saying: 'You can't do your job.' I don't see where he has to be in there just because it's a big rivalry. That doesn't matter. He needs a day off.

Under The Bleachers

We caught up with Mark Buehrle after his recent no-hitter to ask him how it felt to be a star for a day.

Sooze: Hey, Mark! Thanks for sitting down with us.

Mark: Have you guys ever met my friend A.J. Pierzynski?

Lizzy: No, we haven't had the pleasure.

A.J.: I'll give you the pleasure.

Sooze: So... Mark, how did you feel after your no-no?

Mark: You know, it was really great --

A.J.: Have you girls ever "done it"?

Lizzy: Done it?

A.J.: You know, with each other?

Sooze: Wouldn't you like to know.

Lizzy: We've actually never met each other, Mark.

A.J.: He brought me along cause he's shy around girls...

Mark: Shut up dude, you practically begged me to come along.

Lizzy: Back to that no-hitter --

A.J.: I totally called that no-no. I was in the dugout talking crap to Jim Thome and I was all, "Burly's totally gonna have a perfect game." Then he walked Sammy and Jim hit me in the face. He hurt me, see? (points to his misshapen melon)

Sooze: Let me see that (smack!)

A.J.: Ouch!

Mark: You're always such a baby.

A.J.: Nu-UH! Did you see me take down Eckstein on Pay-Per-view? I kicked that midget's ass!

Lizzy: David Eckstein is not a midget.

Sooze: That's right, he's just vertically challenged.

Mark: Ahh, plus that whole thing was set up.

A.J.: Whatever.

Mark: I felt great after my no-hitter. But what really matters is that we won the game as a team.

A.J.: I totally had a hit in that game.

Mark: God, A.J. you're always trying to steal my thunder! You're hitting like, .195 this season!

Lizzy: Yeah, you suck.

A.J.: I totally --

Sooze: I think that's all the time we have for today guys. Thanks again.