This One is for the Ladies

This one goes out to all of our female readers, and anyone else who enjoys objectifying ballplayers, of course.

Be patient: due to it's awesomeness, this video may take a few seconds to load. Just refresh the page if you can't keep your pants on. Happy Holidays!

Making Roy Halladay's Dreams Come True

Congratulations to the Philadelphia Phillies on clinching their fourth consecutive National League East division title.

Yep. They're the team to beat once again.

After winning it all in 2008 before losing the World Series the following year to the New York Yankees, the Phillies are ready to battle. With just five games left in the season and a 94-63 record, they've ensured home field advantage throughout the playoffs, and into the Big Show -- if they make it there -- since the NL won the All-Star game this year.

Ryan Howard Gets the Big Bucks

The Philadelphia Phillies and Ryan Howard agreed to a $125 million, five-year contract extension Monday that could end up keeping him around until 2017.

The slugging first baseman will make $20 million a year in 2012 and 2013 before putting away $25 million annually from 2014-16. The Phillies then have a $23 million option on him for 2017 along with a $10 million buyout. Big Brown has also received a limited no-trade clause where he is able to choose nine teams each year that he can be traded to with his consent.

Giants vs. Phillies: What a Game

Pitcher's duels are so great.

Picture this... youngster Tim Lincecum: verified strike-out machine and freak of nature vs. Pedro Martinez: future Hall of Famer in vintage form. That's exactly what the world got Thursday night.

Pedro tossed seven impressive innings, fanning a season-high nine batters in his fifth start since signing with the Philadelphia Phillies during the All-Star break. The old school righty surrendered one run and five hits, didn't walk a soul, and threw just 87 pitches in his longest outing since last August with the New York Mets.

Philadelphia Phillies Fantasy Camp

Complete with karaoke. Enjoy.

[Funny or Die]

Way to Go, Big Brown

Ryan Howard became the fastest big leaguer to reach 200 career home runs Thursday, nailing his 23rd longball of the season on an 0-1 changeup from Chris Volstad in the sixth inning of his Philadelphia Phillies 4-0 win over the Florida Marlins.

The giant first baseman passed Hall-of-Famer Ralph Kiner, who reached the 200-home run milestone in 706 games. It took Howard 658 games.

You Suck, Brandon Inge

Detroit Tigers third baseman Brandon Inge just hit zero bombs in the Home Run Derby.

Good job, buddy.

First round action: Nelson Cruz and Prince Fielder are tied with 11 longballs a piece. Ryan Howard has seven, Carlos Peña, Albert Pujols and Joe Mauer are all knotted up at five a piece, and Adrian Gonazalez managed two tater tots.

Lookin' Good, Good Lookin'

Ryan Howard (pictured here at a Maxim Super Bowl party) continues to make the big bucks, landing a 3-year, $54 million contract with his Philadelphia Phillies this weekend, avoiding arbitration altogether.

After leading the big leagues with 48 homers and 146 RBIs last season -- not to mention helping the Phillies win their first World Series title since 1980 -- the hefty first baseman got a hefty raise: $15 million this season, $19 million the next, and $20 million in 2011.

Howard, the 2006 NL MVP, batted just .251 in 2008, striking out one whiff short of 200 times with 19 errors, and still managed to make runner-up to Albert Pujols for the MVP.

"I’m happy to have this done and to know that I’ll be in Philadelphia for at least another three years," he said.

[ESPN] | [The Hardball Times] | [Fanhouse]

Matt Stairs is Old School

Remember the Montreal Expos? Matt Stairs does. He started his career with them in 1992.

Stairs busted out some all-too-familiar Philly-style heroics Monday night during Game 4 of the NL Championship Series against the Los Angeles Dodgers. After Shane Victorino tied it up at 5 a-piece with a two-run bomb in the eighth off Cory Wade for his 11th RBI of the postseason, the beefy, 40-year-old pinch-hitter nailed a 3-1, 95 mph fastball served up by Jonathan Broxton to help the Phillies come from behind for the third time this series. Watch the video here and read Stairs' kinda lame quote here.

Ryan Howard: Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Congratulations to Ryan Howard for winning his salary arbitration case against the Philadelphia Phillies. The bargain slugger was awarded $10 million on Thursday, marking the highest figure ever given to a winning player.

Howard, the first player in six arbitration cases this season to emerge victorious, made $900,000 last year and $355,000 during his 2006 MVP season, which is fricking ridiculous. More ludicris was the Phillies' offer of $7 million. Totally ungrateful.

The 28-year-old first baseman hit .268 with 47 bombs and 136 RBIs last season.

[ESPN]

Ryan Howard on Track for Friday Return

Still nursing a left quadriceps strain on the DL, reigning NL MVP Ryan Howard hopes to return to the Philadelphia Phillies lineup this week.

Howard said he felt fine after fielding grounders for 45 minutes before the Phillies' 5-3 win over the Toronto Blue Jays and plans to play at Atlanta when he's eligible to be activated this Friday.

Howard is scheduled for a rehab assignment as the DH Wednesday and Thursday for the Class-A Lakewood BlueClaws. He's batting just .204 with six homers and 23 RBIs, and has 39 strikeouts in 98 at-bats - a bit of a slump after hitting .313 with 58 homers last season.

[Philadelphia Enquirer] | [Phillies Nation] | [Zo Zone]

Ryan Howard Lands on the DL

"I never want to be without Howard for a day or two weeks," manager Charlie Manuel said. "But we have to get him healthy."

After sitting out for the fifth straight game Saturday, Philadelphia Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard was placed on the 15-day disabled list with a left quadriceps strain and a sprained left knee.

Ryan Howard's Leg Injury Not Serious

Ryan Howard, resting an injured left leg, sat out the Philadelphia Phillies' 4-2 victory over the Washington Nationals on Thursday. The reigning NL MVP is expected to be sidelined at least one more game.

Howard hurt himself running out a fielder's choice grounder in the 10th inning Wednesday night, but stayed in for the rest of Philadelphia's 5-4, 13-inning loss and went 0-for-5 to drop his average to .213 for the season.

The Phillies listed him as day-to-day, saying he sprained a ligament just below the knee. X-rays done Wednesday showed nothing was torn and that an MRI wouldn't be necessary.

Greg Dobbs started at first base in Howard's place, going 0-for-4 Thursday while Pat Burrell moved up in the batting order from fifth to cleanup and went 0-for-1 with three walks. The struggling Phillies find themselves in last place in the NL East at 4-10 this season.

[Philadelphia Inquirer]

Ryan Howard: What a Bargain!

The Philadelphia Phillies renewed NL MVP Ryan Howard's contract Friday, giving the first baseman a $900,000 salary after the two sides had failed to agree on a long-term deal.

The left-handed slugger, who earned a meager $355,000 last year, hit .313 with 58 homers and 149 RBIs last season.

Howard said he was frustrated and a little disappointed that a long-term deal couldn't be reached, but he's ready to start the season. The highest previous one-year contract for a player as Howard, not eligible for arbitration, had been awarded to Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood, who made $690,000 in 2002.

[ABC Sports]