Season Previews: Pittsburgh Pirates

Now that it's Spring, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Two years ago, they began as a serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the National League Central, we give you: the Pittsburgh Pirates.

First things first: Signing
Rinku and Dinesh made me
a huge Pirates fan.

"We Are Family!"
Remember '79?
I saw Game 7…

…on Netflix! Go Bert!
30 years since that Series
Bucs haven't been since.

Such great history--
Wagner! Clemente! Stargell!
The future… LaRoche?

Sixteen losing years
It can't get any worse…right?
Oh, famous last words.

Season Previews: Toronto Blue Jays

Now that it's Spring, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Two years ago, they began as a serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving on with our preview of the National League East, is the Toronto Blue Jays: Canada's final hope for a baseball team.

A.J. Burnett left
Halladay is so awesome
B.J. Ryan has great hair

Big Hurt is gone, too
But Cito Gaston is back.
Yay Kevin Millar!

Red Sox and Yankees
Have more money, more fans
A.L. East is rough.

I think Scott Downs sucks.
Two guys named Romero
Neither is J.C.

If Wells and Rolen
Can hit the longball often
Jays might finish third

[Blue Bird Banter] | [Drunk Jays Fans]

Alex Rodriguez: Destroyer of Freedom, Breaker of Children's Hearts

If you've turned on a television or perused the internets today, you no doubt have heard that The Best Player in Baseball tested positive for steroids in 2003, the year he won his first AL MVP award.

Let me be the first to say, YAAAAAAAWWWWWWWN.

However, it does give me an opportunity to post the picture you see, so... you're welcome.

[SportsIllustrated.com]

There's Always Next Year, Brewers Fans

Was there anyone who didn't want the Milwaukee Brewers to do well this post-season?

We could wax poetic about how the baseball world was pretty excited to see the Beer Makers playing baseball in October after 26 looooong years, how CC totally kicked ass, the late-season slumping, Prince Fielder's awesomeness, the steamrolling at the hands of the Philadelphia Phillies...

Instead, like always, we'll let the pictures do the talking. Click to enlarge the goodness:

There's Always Next Year, Cubs Fans

Oh, the Cubs. This was their year, right? Sweet Lou had a commercial for bottled water....Kosuke Fukudome was going to blow our minds with his mad skills....Kerry Wood was back, baby!...all those millions of dollars were spent and finally, all the pieces were going to fall into place. Nothing could stop it. It was fate.

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

As always, we'll let the pictures do the talking. Click to enlarge.

Someday, the Cubbies Will Go All the Way

This blows. The Cubs were supposed to win it all this year.

What good is a $120M payroll, the 2nd best home record in the majors and an obsessive fan base if you can't even win one goddamn playoff game EVER?

Fuck the White Sox

Oh, Twins fans, I'm really depressed right now. Nick Blackburn pitched the goddamn game of his life. But, he was pitching to the White Sox, so he gave up a home run.

Just one.

Drunken Cards Front Office Inks Kyle Lohse for 4 Years

Kyle Lohse and the St. Louis Cardinals announced today that they have come to terms on a 4 year, $41 million contract.

Lohse, represented by super-agent Scott Boras, was traded from the Twins in 2006 after problems with Minnesota teammates and coaches. He played for Cincinnati and Philadelphia in 2007, and embarrassed himself rather thoroughly by turning down $21 million and 3 years from the Phils at the beginning of the 2008 season.

Lohse elected to instead sit at home during spring training and eventually was signed to a 1 year, $4.25 million deal with the Cards. He was stated to have been seeking 4 years and $40 million-plus.

To be fair, in 2008 Lohse did go 15-6 with a 3.78 ERA, walking 49 and striking out 119 in 200 innings. Good stuff, but there's nothing in his history that would suggest that he'll repeat those kind of stats. It's highly likely that this will turn into a crap contract for the Birds.

Just Happy To Be Here

My name is Lauren. I live in Minneapolis. I'm new here, too.

I love the Cubbies (it's a family thing), and I used to be able to call the Toronto Blue Jays my local team. My dad took me to one of the '91 World Series games at the Metrodome, but he doesn't understand my undying love for the Twins and all things baseball. I have a fish named Jarrod Saltalamacchia.

I love to spend my evenings March-October in front of the TV, watching my boys and knitting--yeah, I'm that cool. I used to write for Yeah, Buddy!. I have an awesome fiancé who loves the Twins as much as I do, and he's totally cool with me talking about my mega-crush on Joe Mauer.

Oh yeah: I live for the Twins.

I am thrilled to have been invited to write here. I'll do my best to live up to the high standards that Sooze has set for the baseball blogging world.