What's That Sucking Sound? It's the Twins.

Gil Meche was the big winner in his return from the disabled list Thursday as the Kansas City Royals crushed the Minnesota Twins' hopes and dreams of gaining any ground in the American League Central with a 5-4 victory.

Meche, who is notoriously pretty sucky, gave up four runs on seven hits over five innings in his first start since July 11th. At one point, pretty sure it was the sixth inning, the Twins were handed three walks and still managed not to score, thanks to Nick Punto not quite remembering how to bunt before spankin' new Twin Orlando Cabrera hit into an inning-ending double play. Yikes.

If every at bat could just belong to Joe Mauer, they'd probably go 162-0. Too bad that's not even possible. Man Muscles had a double, a homer and four RBIs in the game, bringing his AL-best batting average to .370 on the season.

That's right. The final score was Kansas City 5, Joe Mauer 4.

Denarded Span is pretty awesome, too... but no one outside of Minnesota really gives a crap. Carlos Gomez (NASCAR. He's quicker than a Saturn Aura, a super-fast Jeep, an Audi r8 and a Lamborghini put together) has so much potential bottled up that he's become an uncontrollable spaz. Meanwhile, Cabrera extended his career-high hitting streak to 22 games. That would be more badass if there were other people rounding the bases when he hits the ball into play.

The Twins will take on the horrible Cleveland Indians this weekend. Minnesota fans would normally be looking forward to this series, but are rather terrified after their last series against the Tribe, which they lost... right before they dropped another series to the Detroit Tigers. In fact, the Twins haven't won two in a row yet in August. Let's make that a goal for this weekend, guys.

[MLB] | [Root Zoo] | [MLB Wire]