Mike Hampton: The Unluckiest Man Alive

All Mike Hampton has ever wanted to do is throw a baseball from a major league mound. Apparently, the forces of nature, God, or whatever is in charge of his destiny has made that virtually impossible to do for any extended period of time.

The injury-prone, papier-mâché lefty will miss the entire 2010 season due to a torn rotator cuff in his pitching shoulder along with some other unspecified damage... like his bruised ego.

It was beginning to look like Hampton's hard luck was through, but now at age 37, Hampton is approaching the end of what could have been an amazing career. Signed this season by the Houston Astros, he went 7-10 with a 5.30 ERA over 112 innings, which is considered leaps and bounds since he hasn't made that many starts (21) since his 29 appearances with the Atlanta Braves in 2004.

Mike Hampton, Are You Joking Me?

When I first heard that Mike Hampton left his Tuesday night start against the Milwaukee Brewers because of a cut on his thumb, I thought it was a joke.

After tossing a season-low 60 pitches during his team's 4-2 loss, Hampton (2-3, 5.23 ERA) allowed two runs on three hits with three walks and four strikeouts.

The Houston Astros oft-injured lefty is either a total klutz or a major weenie. If this guy lands on the disabled list for this, I'm gonna laugh til I wet my pants.

[Daily Astros Update]

Mike Hampton Survives First Start

I'm a day or so late on this news, but whatever. It's still amazing no matter how many times you hear it.

When you read the recaps of the Houston Astros 4-1 win over the the Pittsburgh Pirates, the first thing you see is how amazing it is that they "stopped their five-game skid" or that "Miguel Tejada had a base hit! Wow!"

No. You should not give a crap about any of that stuff. The real news here is that Mike Hampton pitched six innings, struck out eight batters, and did not allow a single run. He did all this, without getting hurt. Not even a hangnail.

Congratulations, Mike. Hopefully we didn't just jinx you.

[MLB] | [Crawfish Boxes] | [Following the Astros]

Mike Hampton Lacks Heart?

Mike Hampton cannot catch a break. I’m not sure if he broke a mirror once upon a time, or if the guy was just born this unlucky.

The perpetually injured Houston Astros lefty returned to the Big Belt Buckle State after his Saturday physical turned up an irregular heartbeat. Hampton underwent an echocardiogram this morning (a corrective procedure using an electrical current) to correct this not-so-uncommon condition.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Way to Go, Buddy!

Congratulations to Mike Hampton on earning his first victory since August 14, 2005, leading the Atlanta Braves past the San Francisco Giants 11-4 Tuesday night. And he did it all without hurting himself.

Not even a hangnail.

A Fitting Finish for Hampton

Seriously, could Mike Hampton's return to the big leagues have ended any other way but with a loss?

After 1,072 days away from the majors with injury after ridiculous injury, the Atlanta Braves lefty returned to the hill just to watch a 9-3 lead diminish into a 10-9 rally by the Philadelphia Phillies.

Making his first start since August 19, 2005, Hampton surrendered six runs on eight hits in just over four innings, using 91 pitches. After Chase Utley loaded up the bags with no one out in the fifth, Hampton said good night.

"It’s a great feeling to be back, but it’s bittersweet," he said. "I didn’t do enough to help the team win. It’s something to grow on."

We are taking bets on how long he can go without hurting himself. Yes, that includes off-field shenanigans, so send your predictions here.

[MLB] | [Braves Blast]

Mike Hampton: My Groin Hurts

I'm not sure whether to laugh so hard I pee my pants or feel terrible for the guy, but the oft-injured Mike Hampton has tripped up once again, seeing yet another setback in his recovery from the pectoral muscle he originally injured.

Hampton -- by far the most over-paid pitcher in the history of the game -- was all set to return to the Atlanta Braves rotation after the All-Star break, but left Wednesday’s rehab start for Class-AA Mississippi after just two innings with a strained groin.

"I wish I had a magic cure, a magic pill that I could swallow," he said. "I wouldn’t sell my soul to the devil, but I’d get pretty close."

Well that's just pure laziness. No wonder he can't stay healthy!

Will someone please help this guy get in touch with a new rehab specialist? This is just getting ridiculous... in a depressing, horribly funny way. Pretty sure he could hurt himself just by thinking too hard.

[Major League Report] | [Chop n' Change] | [Sports Shovel]

Mike Hampton: You're Joking Me, Right?

What the hell is Mike Hampton's deal? This guy seriously could not stay healthy, even if his career depended on it. Which it apparently doesn't.

How ridiculous is it that this guy can't step foot on the hill without hurting himself? The Atlanta Braves lefty, who is obviously made out of papier-mache and glass, left his minor-league start for the AAA Richmond Braves Wednesday with discomfort in his left pectoral muscle, yet again.

He did throw 71 pitches -- in a row -- over almost four innings, so that's kind of encouraging.

But not really.

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Mike Hampton Broke a Mirror

Okay, maybe we're optimists, but we seriously thought Mike Hampton would at least make it to the mound today.

Maybe the Atlanta Braves lefty walked under a ladder, stepped on a crack, and crossed paths with a black cat right after breaking a mirror. Seriously, this guy's injury rate is ridiculous.

And today was supposed to be the day. The day Mike Hampton threw a baseball for real. His two-year absence has been extended however, after he hurt his left pec muscle... during his warm-up.

Hampton, 35, is a giant sissy headed back to the 15-day disabled list, retroactive to March 30th. Fellow lefty Jo-Jo Reyes is expected to be called up from the AAA Richmond Braves to take his spot on the roster.

[Atlanta Journal]

Mike Hampton: Watch Out, World!

Mike Hampton will look for his first regular season win in nearly three years, when he takes the hill this Thursday against the Pittsburgh Pirates for the first time since 2005.

The Atlanta Braves lefty tossed three Spring innings Saturday against the Cleveland Indians, allowing four hits and a run. But the numbers don't matter. The fact that he did it all without hurting himself is a god damn miracle.

This is the final season of his eight-year, $121 million contract, which is no doubt the largest amount of money he'll ever see on paper again.

[MLB]

Mike Hampton Pitches, Doesn't Die

Are you ready for this? Okay. Mike Hampton pitched 4.1 innings for the Atlanta Braves Monday, allowing one run on just 2 hits in their 4-2 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals. And he didn't hurt himself. Not even a hangnail.

During his absolute best outing of the Spring, Hampton threw 75 pitches. In a row! Up until this point his longest day was just two innings long, coming on March 2nd. Way to go, buddy!

[MLB]

Mike Hampton Sucks at Staying Healthy

Before reading this post, feel free to have a listen to Mike Hampton's optimism about the upcoming season.

Papier-mache pitcher Mike Hampton has hurt himself. Again.

The 35-year-old Atlanta Braves lefty, who hasn’t pitched in a big league game since August of 2005 due to various injuries, left his second spring training start against the Detroit Tigers Friday with a strained right groin.

Hampton lasted just 38 pitches into the game before Scott Sizemore fouled off a pitch to give catcher Brian McCann time to head to the mound, along with Bobby Cox and assistant trainer Jim Lovell. Hampton walked off under his own power and left Braves fans everywhere grumbling in disbelief.

Mediocrates from the great site Something You Can Use adds it all up for us...

121,000,000 = dollars in contract
15,000,000 = salary for 2008
2,000,000 = dollars teams spent per Hampton win since 2001
53 = number of wins since 2001
22 = rank on list of largest sports contracts in history
8 = years in contract
3 = years since Hampton played a game in the majors
1 = injuries already suffered in 2008
0 = reasons to draft Hampton in fantasy baseball

But fear not, Braves fans. Hampton's injury isn't serious, and the club will continue to evaluate him day-to-day. As far as how he's doing so far this Spring -- other than sucking at staying healthy -- he tossed 22 pitches in his first outing, 15 for strikes, over two shutout innings against the Houston Astros last Sunday.

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Mike Hampton Sucks at Staying Healthy

Mike Hampton, who has yet to give the Atlanta Braves what they paid for, injured his right hamstring during the very first inning of his very first start in the Mexican Winter League.

So Mike can say adios to Mexico, as he will need up to a month to recover. After rehabbing from two straight elbow surgeries, the Braves are losing confidence in the 35-year-old lefty, as he hasn't actually pitched for them since 2005, due to injuries.

Now, they'll have to wait until February to fully assess whether he'll be healthy enough to join the rotation. Heading into the final year of the ridiculous eight-year, $121 million deal he signed with the Colorado Rockies, Hampton is owed $15 million in 2008.

[USA Today]

Clearly Mike Hampton is Made Out of Papier-mâché

Mike Hampton is out for a second straight season after electing to have surgery on his left elbow Tuesday to repair a torn tendon. He will strand the Atlanta Braves without one of their starting pitchers once again for at least six months.

The lefty had elbow ligament-replacement surgery performed by the same doctor late in September of 2005, before a healthy return this season was hampered by a strained left oblique this spring.

The 34-year-old went 5-3 in 12 starts for the Braves in 2005, struggling through the season with elbow pain. His best year came in 1999, when he went 22-4 with the Houston Astros; he's a career 138-101 with a 3.97 ERA over 13 seasons with 5 different clubs.

With Hampton lost for the season, Mark Redman, Kyle Davies and Lance Cormier are the team's top three options for the last two spots in the rotation behind veterans John Smoltz, Tim Hudson and youngster Chuck James.

[Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Mike Hampton Out, Mark Redman In

Lefty pitcher Mark Redman agreed to a minor league contract with the Atlanta Braves on Friday, and will start Saturday's game against the Toronto Blue Jays in place of Mike Hampton, who just a day earlier learned he will be sidelined for up to two months with a strained left oblique.

The Braves are set with veteran John Smoltz, Tim Hudson and Chuck James at the front of their rotation, so with the loss of Hampton, Redman joins Kyle Davies and Lance Cormier as the leading contenders for the final two spots.

If Redman earns a spot on the roster, he will get a $750,000, one-year contract and an opportunity to earn $500,000 in start-based performance bonuses. The 33-year-old All-Star went 11-10 with a 5.71 ERA for the Kansas City Royals last season and as an eight-year veteran, is 64-76 with a 4.65 ERA in 186 starts and 12 relief appearances.

While Redman started out in 1995 with the Minnesota Twins organization and has spent most of his career in the American League, he does have some hitting experience. He was 14-9 with a 3.59 ERA in 2003 with the World Series Champion Florida Marlins and 5-15 with a 4.90 ERA for the Pittsburgh Pirates in 2005.

[Toronto Star]