The Real Top Ten Hottest Players In Baseball

I'm a woman who has been accused of being more passionate about baseball than I am about boyfriends.

That may be true, but it doesn't mean I'm unable to spot a smokin' hot baseball player when I see one.

An unidentified Fox Sports analyst has recently come up with a list of the Top 10 Hottest Baseball Players, in slideshow format. What the requirements were to land on this list, I have no idea. It's so incredibly wrong in so many ways, I felt the need to speak out about it.

Jimmy Rollins, Barry Zito and Ichiro Suzuki as your top three? Umm, no.

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Rick Ankiel, the Unnatural?

Rick Ankiel. The guy is swingin' a red-hot bat these days.

Everyone's favorite pitcher-turned outfield sensation homered twice for a career-high seven RBIs last night, to lead the defending World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals to a 16-4, rain-shortened ass-whooping of the Pittsburgh Pirates Thursday night.

Smoking the tie-breaking, three-run shot in the second inning and a two-run dinger in the fifth, he is batting .358 with nine homers and 29 RBIs in just 23 games since being called up from the minors on Aug. 9th. Ankiel has done nothing but amaze the crap out of us.

"The thing to remember when you get up there with runners on base is that the pitcher is the one that's in trouble," explained Ankiel.

Except for when the Daily News reports that you received Human Growth Hormone.

Rick Ankiel: We're in Love

Wow, Rick Ankiel.

Chicks really do dig the longball.

The 6'1" 28-year-old, wild lefty turned stud right fielder jacked the first pitch he saw over the right field wall in both the first and seventh innings, giving him three homers in three days since being called up from the AAA Memphis Red Birds.

The St. Louis Cardinals home crowd gave Ankiel a standing ovation and demanded another curtain call after witnessing him go 5-for-12 with 6 RBIs in 3 games for a .417 batting average.

Welcome back.

[STL Today]

Rick Ankiel Homers, Tony La Russa Cries

Rick Ankiel, a failed pitcher turned heroic outfielder, launched a three-run jack over the right-field wall in his first game back in the big leagues to help the St. Louis Cardinals surge to a 5-0 victory over the San Diego Padres Thursday night.

The longball received a standing ovation from the Busch Stadium crowd, demanding a curtain call from the once crappy left-hander, who walked off the mound over two years ago.

Adam Wainwright's World Series-winning strikeout last season, saying "I'm fighting my butt off to keep it together."

The homer was the third of Ankiel's career and the first since April of 2000. Way to go, buddy!

[Viva El Birdos]