LaTroy Hawkins: Pranksters Rule

There's nothing quite like a good prank. Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Kyle Kendrick was hit hard last month when his teammates, coaches and the media got together to tell him he was traded to Japan. But was he afraid or humiliated? Probably not.

It's the pranks that scare and/or embarrass the crap out of people that are the best kind. LaTroy Hawkins (yes, he still plays baseball) and Brian Bruney tend to agree.

The New York Yankees relievers sneaked into last year's #1 pick Andrew Brackman's locker to mess with his stuff. When the rookie opened it yesterday morning, he discovered his sliders had been slit down the middle. His cap was also cut, along with six pair of workout shoes and a new pair of spikes, filleted from tongue to toe.

Best MLB Prank Ever

Best big league prank in recent history?

[Crashburn Alley]

You Think Your Friends Are Assholes...

Gerald Laird was escorted out of the Texas Rangers clubhouse in handcuffs by two police officers on Sunday.

There was a rumor floating around that a high school classmate of Laird had claimed she was the mother of his baby, and he was being taken downtown for a paternity test.

As reporters chased after him, asking what was going on, Laird panicked. "There's no way," the confused catcher said, "I have no idea."

"Hey, Gerald, I'll call my attorney for you!" Sammy Sosa yelled from across the clubhouse.

Teammate Jerry Hairston asked permission to give Laird a message, hopping into the backseat of the squad car. That's when he was told he had been the victim of one of the most elaborate practical jokes in Rangers' history.

This may top the stunt pulled two years ago, when a police officer pulled over Hank Blalock in a 35-mph zone, claiming he was clocked at 59, and that he would go straight to the big house if he didn't stop arguing.

Laird immediately began to point fingers, the longest at Hairston. "There will be payback," Laird said. "J-Hair, it's going to be a long year for him."

Calling someone "J-Hair" in public is a good start, but it will be interesting to see what he'll come up with... maybe call Dominican immigration on Sammy?

[MLB News]