Gerald Laird Hit on Hand, Leaves Game

Texas Rangers catcher Gerald Laird left Sunday night's game against the Cleveland Indians in the second inning after getting beaned on the hand by a Paul Byrd pitch.

Byrd went inside on Laird and the backstop couldn't get out of the way fast enough, falling to the ground in pain. After throwing his batting helmet in a fit, he went into the clubhouse with trainers.

X-rays taken of his bruised left hand were negative, setting Laird's status at day-to-day. He's batting .233 with six home runs and 32 RBIs for the Rangers.

[Dallas Morning News]

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You Think Your Friends Are Assholes...

Gerald Laird was escorted out of the Texas Rangers clubhouse in handcuffs by two police officers on Sunday.

There was a rumor floating around that a high school classmate of Laird had claimed she was the mother of his baby, and he was being taken downtown for a paternity test.

As reporters chased after him, asking what was going on, Laird panicked. "There's no way," the confused catcher said, "I have no idea."

"Hey, Gerald, I'll call my attorney for you!" Sammy Sosa yelled from across the clubhouse.

Teammate Jerry Hairston asked permission to give Laird a message, hopping into the backseat of the squad car. That's when he was told he had been the victim of one of the most elaborate practical jokes in Rangers' history.

This may top the stunt pulled two years ago, when a police officer pulled over Hank Blalock in a 35-mph zone, claiming he was clocked at 59, and that he would go straight to the big house if he didn't stop arguing.

Laird immediately began to point fingers, the longest at Hairston. "There will be payback," Laird said. "J-Hair, it's going to be a long year for him."

Calling someone "J-Hair" in public is a good start, but it will be interesting to see what he'll come up with... maybe call Dominican immigration on Sammy?

[MLB News]