Dominate Your Fantasy Baseball Draft

...by being super shady.

Some people might say fantasy baseball is for nerds. Boy are they ever wrong. Fantasy baseball is a game of skill, risk, and, of course, chance: the chance that half the guys you draft end up on the disabled list by May. That's always awesome.

In an effort to help you dominate your fantasy baseball draft, I've compiled a short but effective list of ways to assist you in doing so.

Continue reading and comment on this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Tim Lincecum: Your Best Fantasy Bet

It was a close call, but the San Francisco Giants and Tim Lincecum have reached a preliminary agreement on a $23 million, two-year contract.

This is pretty great news for Timmy, but even better news for fantasy owners since the righty phenom can finally concentrate on his skills to pay the bills, rather than how he's going to pay for all that sweet ganja the bills.

Avoiding an embarrassing arbitration hearing which was set for Friday afternoon, the San Francisco Giants have given their 25-year-old phenom what he deserved: a Giant raise from the measly $650,000 he made last season.

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Top 10 Fantasy Hitters for 2010

10. Evan Longoria: One of the things that impressed me the most about Longoria is that he has never been caught stealing in the big leagues. Not once. I guess that would be way sweeter if he'd stolen more than 16 bases in his two-year career, but whatever. It took him only 135 games to reach his 100th career RBI, finishing his second season with 113.

9. Ryan Howard: Ryan Howard is one of the most feared hitters in the National League. He might whiff a lot (like 200 times a year) but last season he became just the third player in Major League Baseball history (joining The Babe and Sammy Sosa) to collect at least 135 RBIs and 45 home runs in four straight seasons. I'm betting he can do it again in 2010.

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Reds, Athletics Swap Crappy Players

The Cincinnati Reds have traded Willy Taveras along with infielder Adam Rosales to the Oakland Athletics for infielder Aaron Miles and some other guy they'll decide on in the near future.

Things could have gone a whole lot better for Taveras in Cincinnati last season, after he hit just .240 with a shoddy .275 on-base percentage as the team's leadoff hitter. The oft-injured center fielder did, however, steal 25 bases. I guess that counts for something. Maybe a change of scenery will help him get back into the swing of things, and possibly even reanimate his numbers from 2007, where he batted .320 over 92 games.

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Good Riddance Milton Bradley

Seriously, someone out there should start a blog and devote it to the mishappenings of Milton Bradley and his crazy, misunderstood world.

The banished Chicago Cubs outfielder formally apologized Wednesday for his inappropriate behavior and recent negative comments which led to general manager Jim Hendry’s decision to kick him out of the clubhouse for the remainder of the season, and possibly out of Chicago for good.

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John Smoltz: The Little Engine That Could

John Smoltz isn't quite ready to hang up his cleats. Apparently, the St. Louis Cardinals don't believe he is, either.

The NL Central leaders signed the 42-year-old former ace on Wednesday, shortly after he was dismissed by the Boston Red Sox with a 2-5 record and 8.33 ERA over eight starts. The Cardinals are hoping Smoltz can fill the void as the fifth starter or maybe even move to the bullpen for some right-handed relief.

Continue reading this story on Fantasy Pros 911.

Who The Hell Is Ryan Roberts?

When the Arizona Diamondbacks ditched Felipe Lopez last month, the census was that they'd be searching for a second baseman for quite a while. Think again.

The 1% of you fantasy players who own Ryan Roberts (and the 0% of you who have been starting the guy) know the club can call off the dogs. Since being recalled from the AAA Reno Aces, Roberts is sporting a .354 batting average (17-for-48) with four doubles, five homers and a good eye -- seven walks -- over just 13 games.

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The Big Unit's Bones Are Creaky, Wang Sucks

Randy Johnson is one of those guys with a voice so booming that when he tells a joke, it rarely gets more than a courtesy chuckle.

However, Tuesday night he managed to make a funny regarding his recent accident at the plate:

Obviously the first thing I thought is that I won’t be able to do my instructional hitting video.

zing!

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Pedro Martinez: Old School Is Back

Pedro Martinez's cock-fighting days are over. He's finally returning to the majors... well, eventually.

The three-time Cy Young Award winner agreed to a contract with the Philadelphia Phillies Wednesday worth $1 million, with incentives that could reach $1.5 million. Aaaaaand he's already hurt. The team has placed him directly on the 15-day disabled list with a mild shoulder strain, with no word on a rehab assignment as of yet.

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Busch Stadium To Resemble Fenway

Can we get some more Boston Red Sox players in the American League's All-Star lineup please? Umm... really, Jed Lowrie? Actually, maybe I'll save my obligatory "fan-voting sucks" rant for another day.

This year's Midsummer Classic in St. Louis should be pretty exciting, considering all the young talent on both rosters, and how awesome the National League side looks.

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Sit Down Juan Pierre, Manny's Back

All you folks who have been hanging on for dear life to Manny Ramirez, waiting patiently for his return to your fantasy roster while the rest of your outfield struggled? You can breathe easy once again.

Those 50 games he was forced to sit out after testing positive for stupidity are finally over, as he'll start in the Los Angeles Dodgers outfield Friday against Chad Gaudin and the San Diego Padres. Manny is batting a career .455 (5-for-11) against the right-hander with two homers, three RBIs and 2 walks. Not bad.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911. Have a safe and happy Fourth of July weekend! See ya Monday.

Baseball Superstitions: Do They Work?

Baseball is a game with a long history of superstitions, and there are some pretty great ones out there. There's the whole not stepping on the baseline thing, the one where no one mentions the no-hitter or perfect game in progress, sporting a rally cap when your team is down in the ninth, and of course, the infamous growing of the post season beard: started by the 1908 White Sox and revived by the 2005 Red Sox. Some have a lucky bat, a special glove, or refuse to sit anywhere but the same spot in the dugout.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Possible Careers for Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez is an idiot.

Hopefully we all can agree on that statement. He's shown us with his actions and made it clear with the words flying out of his stupid head: the ones that obviously don't make a pit-stop in his brain before they spill out of his mouth.

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Big Papi Needs A Slump Buster

It's not uncommon for sluggers to go through slumps, and while some last longer than others, there are a few who end up having a crappy season altogether.

"Slump" is not the word for what David Ortiz is going through right now. He's just plain awful, and even New York Yankees fans are starting to feel bad for the guy. Let's look at his previous numbers, dating back to the last three seasons...

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Breaking Um... News

Sammy Sosa has retired from baseball.

Yeah, I was almost positive he'd already retired, as well, but let's go ahead and call this news anyway. To make a long story short, Sosa has announced that he's going to make an announcement. He seemed to have missed the spotlight, so he chirped up and said,

"Hey guys! Remember me? I'm going to retire now, since I haven't played a major league baseball game since 2007 and no one wants my services."

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Randy Johnson: Last of a Dying Breed

This Wednesday, San Francisco Giants lefty Randy Johnson will attempt to earn career victory #300. He will also land on MLB's endangered species list.

The 45-year-old future Hall of Famer, who's enjoying his 22nd year in the majors, will become just the 24th pitcher in the history of this great game to accomplish the feat. To put that into perspective, this guy has pitched from a big league hill longer than some of you have even been alive.

He began his career with the Montreal Expos, who are all but forgotten at this point. Yeah, it's been that long.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Halfway Home: Updated

I've been pretty much oozing non-stop over Ryan Zimmerman for the last couple of weeks to everyone I know, so I figured I might as well let the lust spill over to this place. He's blowing my mind right now. In fact, I've pained through the last ten Washington Nationals games, just to see him hit. Yes, it was worth it.

He singled in the first inning Sunday evening off Arizona Diamondbacks righty Max Scherzer to bring his amazing hitting streak to 28 games.

Zimmerman has ridden this impressive streak straight to the halfway point between nothing and history: Hall of Famer Joe DiMaggio's hit-steak record of 56 games. Now, he's no DiMaggio, he has recorded the most hits in consecutive games for any Washington-based player, ever. Making history must feel pretty sweet.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.

Update: Senator Crushingham extended his impressive hit streak to 29 games with a single to center off veteran southpaw Randy Johnson (who went on to earn career victory #298) in the first inning of Monday night's 11-7 loss to the San Francisco Giants. He'll go for consecutive game #30 -- where it gets real serious -- tonight against righty Matt Cain (3-1, 2.61 ERA).

Blah Blah Steroids: Manny Ramirez

Manny Ramirez, as mentioned earlier by Marea, will serve a 50-game suspension for screwing up royally, failing to adhere to the MLB Drug Policy. That's fifty games the cruising Los Angeles Dodgers will be forced to play without him.

The news, first reported Thursday morning by the Los Angeles Times, detailed information that the butterfly-chasing outfielder tested positive for what sources identified as the drug human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG), which is most commonly used in the treatment of female infertility.

This drug also just-so-happens to diminish testosterone levels at the end of a cycle of steroid treatments. Either Manny is an infertile woman, or he has some explaining to do.

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Bitch Tits Unsure About Friday Return

Alex Rodriguez, who up until today was planning on returning to the New York Yankees lineup this Friday against the Baltimore Orioles, is now unsure of when exactly he'll make the month-and-a-half he's sat on my and your disabled lists worth the wait. There are conflicting reports all over the internet, some -- manager Joe Giradi included -- saying he'll be back this Friday, while others say it's not written in stone.

Rodriguez slid for the first time on Wednesday since his March 9th hip surgery, going 1-for-5 with a walk in an extended spring training game. He singled up the middle as a designated hitter and slid into second on an infield grounder after taking a walk in the third inning. He's even hit a few bombs in the process. All good signs.

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Was Zack Greinke Jinxed?

At what point do we bring up a pitcher's scoreless streak without jinxing him? Do we keep it to ourselves? Whisper it to the dude sitting next to us? Write a giant cover story about it? That is, if you believe in that sort of thing.

The same question arose when reading about Kansas City Royals ace Zack Greinke's long string of goose eggs all over the internet this week, just days before he gave up his first earned run in 43 innings on Wednesday. It took only two batters: a double by Marco Scutaro before Vernon Wells singled him home with two outs in the first to produce the first earned run off the righty since last September, a streak that spanned six incredible starts.

Continue reading this story at Fantasy Pros 911.