It's about time to kick off one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Five years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Wrapping up our preview of the National League Central, get a load of the 2012 Houston Astros.
Adios National League
Selig has spoken
Berkman misses you
But not enough to return
Replace Carlos Lee
Jordan Schafer likes
Ganja peanut butter cups
But then, who doesn't
Amen Bud Norris
We hate Brian Wilson too
So effing stupid
Jed Lowrie at short
Altuve's his dp pal
Matt Downs just in case
Right and left filled by
Brian Bogusevic and
J.D. Martinez
Forget about Cust
That ship has long since sailed
No more bombs from him
Wandy Rodriguez
Should try lasting more than six
That would be helpful
Brett Myers eyebrows
Like fat caterpillars with
A 4.00 ERA
Wesley's the only
Left-hander in the bullpen
He must feel special
We bet the Astros
Are super pumped up to move
To the other league
[The Crawfish Boxes] | [Ultimate Astros] | [Astros County]
3 comments:
Well done. This Astros team looks like a AAA roster, not much different from last season.
I'm totally fine with this Astros lineup especially because they're moving to the American League next year. This means the Mariners might actually end up ahead of two teams in the standings!
No difference from last season....
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