Season Previews: Seattle Mariners

With Opening Day just around the corner, it's time for one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Moving right along with our preview of the American League West, here are the Seattle Mariners.

We think Ichiro
Is a first-ballot entry
He's such a badass

Let's see if Bradley
Can stay out of the slammer
For a month or two

Good luck Mike Saunders!
Franklin Gutierrez is
The center fielder

Wilsons and Ryan
Up the middle making plays
Either Jack or Josh

Miguel Olivo
Strained his groin the other day
Feeling better now

Justin Smoak at first
And TOO'-ee-AH'-so-SO'-poh
Behind Chone at third

Jack Cust hits them out
When he's not just striking out
He's from New Jersey

King Felix is ace
Coming off a Cy Young year
Way to go buddy

Ian Snell is gone
He decided to retire
Cause he sucked last year

Vargas and Fister
Pineda, Pauley, Bedard
What a name... Fister

Aaron Laffey, French
And Jiminez are lefties
League will shut it down

First Opening Day
Without Ken Griffey Jr.
In quite a while

Good luck Eric Wedge
This is kinda like Cleveland
Only rainier

[U.S.S. Mariner] | [Lookout Landing] | [SoDo Mojo]