With Opening Day just a couple days away, we're finishing up with one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Kicking off our preview of the American League Central, here are the Detroit Tigers.
Scares the crap out of hitters
Joaquin Benoit too
Justin Verlander,
Max Scherzer, and Brad Penny
In the rotation
Coke in the bullpen
Until the Home Opener
Porcello to start
Victor Martinez
Will beef up the offense and
Catch with Avila
Fans say Oh My Boesch!
Magglio Ordonez has
Luscious locks of hair
Jackson in center
No shortage of outfielders
With Raburn in left
Peralta and Rhymes
Tag-teaming up the middle
Brandon Inge at third
Miguel Cabrera
Had another eventful
Booze-fueled offseason
Jimmy Leyland is
One of the few old schoolers
Managing today
The AL Central
Is gonna be neck-and-neck
Again this season
[Detroit 4 Lyfe] | [Bless You Boys] | [Motor City Bengals]
9 comments:
Oh My Boesch! Something tells me you've been to Comerica. :)
Coke in the bullpen? These guys sure know how to party!
In all seriousness, great preview ladies.
I heart the magnum p.i. pic.
Pretty sure it is spelled Raburn. No Y.
Thanks "anonymous" I can get pretty phonetic sometimes.
Me too Sooze. It's from being a kindergarten teacher - no lie, I spell shit wrong constantly because I'm too busy sounding out the word. That, or I suck at spelling.
Nice haikus, either way.
Love them! However, Avila has one "l" not two!
Holy shit, I am on a ROLL. Thanks "anonymous #2" :)
I can tell you're a Twins fan with all this cavalier attitude towards the correct spelling of Tigers players names...
Just kidding. Great preview! It's nice to read something different for a change.
Post a Comment