With Opening Day just a day away, we're finishing up with one of our favorite things in all the world: Season Previews. Four years ago, they began as a semi-serious analysis and ended up as half-assed haiku. We're just gonna go with what we know. Continuing with our preview of the American League Central, here are the Cleveland Indians.
With Shin-Soo Choo out in right
And Brantley in left
Travis Hafner will
Smash homers over the fence
Cause he's a monster
One is Asdrubal
The other is Orlando
They're both Cabreras
Carlos Santana!
Matt Laporta holds down first
Who the hell's on third?
I'll give you a hint:
His name is Jack Hannahan
Manny decided
Fausto Carmona
Masterson and Carrasco
Talbot and Tomlin
There's your starting five
And they are all right-handed
Sipp is a lefty!
Rafael Perez
Throws with his left hand also
Frank Herrmann bats left...
Hardcore ALC
But Charlie Sheen loves the Tribe
That means they're #winning?
(Grady Sizemore sure can dance.)
[Let's Go Tribe] | [The DiaTribe] | [Deep Left Field]
3 comments:
I want to punch Charlie Sheen in the face so bad. Then again, I still love Major League.
Very unique idea for previews! I just went back and read the Indians haikus from the last four years. Funny stuff! Keep up the great work.
-Betsy
Forget about the curve ball, Ricky. Give him the heater!
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