Do You Hit Your Mother With Those Balls??

Talk about a freak accident... Almost as random as a mascot detaching a man's retinas with a wiener, Minnesota Twins centerfielder Denard Span attacked his own mother with balls. (SO many male naughty-bits jokes can be made at the expense of this statement. I prefer to take the high road.)

During the first inning against the Yankees at their ridiculously over-the-top for spring training and the minors Spring Training park, Steinbrenner Field, Span fouled a 3-2 pitch over by the 3rd base dugout and directly into the chest of his mother, Wanda. Span immediately ran over to make sure she was OK. After the paramedics arrived and she declined to go to the hospital, Span proceeded with his at bat, only to get called out on strikes. Span ended up going 0-2 on the day, and left the game after the top of the third - presumably to go buy the biggest bouquet of apology flowers ever.