5.02.2007

Under The Bleachers

Photo of John Kruk's out-of-control hair courtesy of The Sports Hernia
We caught up with John Kruk's hair this afternoon to find out what the hell happened to it.

Lizzy: Hi.... hair.

John Kruk's Hair: Helloooooo ladies.

Sooze: Would you please enlighten us as to why you've grown so unmanageable?

Eric Byrnes' hair has a reputation for being out of controlJohn Kruk's Hair: It all started when Orel Hershiser's hair and I were hanging out on the set. We were reminiscing about Eric Byrnes' hairstyle he was sporting during his appearance on Baseball Tonight during last season's playoffs.

Lizzy: Of course.

John Kruk's Hair: We were talking about how fun it would be to grow long and luxurious before going completely bald.

Sooze: You do realize how ridiculous you look, right? I mean, it's rather distracting. Viewers have a hard enough time taking whatever comes out of John Kruk's mouth seriously without -

John Kruk reportedly loves hoagiesJohn Kruk's Hair: Oh, his mouth is a different story. I have no control over that bastard. When the mouth and brain get together, it's totally out of control. Especially around lunch time. And dinner. And breakfast and...

Lizzy: We get the idea.

Sooze: So, the whole gelled-mullet thing is in nowadays? Cause I wasn't aware.

John Kruk's Hair: No, but Orel's 'do and I feel it's making a comeback!

Lizzy: Highly unlikely, but we'll make a note of it.

Sooze: That's all the time we have left for today. Thanks for your time, Mr. Hair. You're truly bold and unpredictable.

John Kruk's Hair: I do my best to offend.

[Photo of Kruk's hair courtesy of The Sports Hernia] | [Photo of Byrnes' hair courtesy of Can't Stop The Bleeding]

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm glad so many bloggers are exploiting John Kruk's hair style. It really is awful and distracting.

Ian said...

He needs to get an endorsement deal with Soul-Glo or Jerry Curl

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the laugh. That is good stuff.

Hey John - It's called conditioner.

Anonymous said...

Awesome. This is great.

I can't believe there's a weekly prison riot inside Kruk's hair.

Sooze said...

It's just not safe anymore.

Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

I'm watching Baseball Tonight or Sportscenter or something on ESPN right now and Kruk looks like he just dipped his head up an elephant's vagina. Is that real hair or a wig?

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