I could sit all day and think up reasons why baseball is better than my ex-boyfriend, and for all you men out there, why it's a million times more enjoyable than your stupid ex-girlfriend. Lizzy did one of these lists back in 2007, and of course, it still applies. So here we go.
10. Baseball's only excuse for being late is the rain.
9. Baseball will never cheat on you with a chick who isn't even hot.
8. Baseball will always be there for you. Unless there's another strike.
7. Joe Mauer.
6. With baseball, you never have to worry about being slobbered all over when you slide into second base, or hear "Oops that never happens to me" after a home run.
5. Baseball is full of surprises and will never ever get boring or monotonous.
4. Baseball can't get you pregnant.
3. Your baseball team has 40 men for you to choose from, 25 of them readily available.
2. When you introduce baseball to your parents, they won't be disappointed.
1. Your team winning the World Series is better than any sex you have ever or will ever have. Ever.
Please feel free to add your own reasons why baseball is better than your ex in the comments section.
22 comments:
No man is worth going to prison for arson Sooze. :)
Haha I know - I was exaggerating a bit. :)
Oh, Bassmaster.
#11. You don't have to explain to baseball where the clothes hamper is 100 times.
You don't have to do baseball's laundry, cook for it, or deal with it when it's sick.
I. Love. You. Hahaha.
If baseball breaks your heart, you get to wipe the slate clean every Spring. It's like getting a hot, brand new boyfriend once a year.
Baseball isn't a douchebag by nature.
Ok, I think we can all agree that #7 is pretty much key (helloooo Joe Mauer) but in my case, if you introduce baseball to my parents they'd be disappointed. I'm an O's fan:-(
Baseball never let's me down. No meetings it forgot to tell me about. No working late. No deciding to spend time with guys from its service organization instead of coming to its kid's game, or God forbid, spending time together as a family. Cuz I got the MLB package & a DVR, baby. In the corny but profound words of Jack Wagner, it's "All I Need."c
Baseball will never forget your anniversary and instead go golfing then proceed to go on a bender with his buddies and get home at 4am.
I'm still a little bitter about that one.
Baseball will never eat the last piece of chocolate in the house. Ever.
Baseball doesn't have a monthly visitor.
Touché, James.
Baseball never makes you hang out with his friends instead of watching the game!
Baseball will ALWAYS love, you even during "that time of the month"
When your team loses, it's okay. Tune in again tomorrow! Not so with a boyfriend ~ once a loser always a loser! You just have to learn to identify them beforehand....that's the trick!
Baseball will always change the toilet paper roll to a new one when the old roll only has one square left.
Great blog. Love #1.
No baseball game ever insisted that Maya Angelou was the greatest writer of all time.
I can drink beer with baseball without it turning into a blithering butt-head
You can fake orgasms, you can fake whole relationships but a good baseball game makes you remember how good the real thing is.....xo
Baseball wants you to lay on the couch, barefoot, wearing your comfortable, torn sweatpants and pizza sauce-stained t-shirt.
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